Feature:Opinion

J. Crew cures cancer

Mark Judge Journalist and filmmaker
Font Size:

What do you do when you’re diagnosed with cancer?

In my case, the choice was easy. I bought a pair of $600 shoes from J. Crew.

The reasons might not be what you’d expect. It’s common for people who are diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness to experience an adrenaline-charged freak out. Faced with death, they attach themselves to sports cars, expensive jewelry, top-shelf iPads, whatever. The theory is that they are clinging to the shiny objects of this world in an attempt to turn away from, and delay, the world to come.

In my view, there are problems with this theory — in fact, I would say that the reality is exactly the opposite. In my case, there wasn’t a major freak out. A mild one, to be sure, but not a major one. I had been feeling lousy for a couple years when I was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2008. And it came as a relief. I wasn’t depressed, didn’t have Lyme disease, low blood pressure or arthritis, any of the things I had suspected. It was the big ‘C.’ But it was the most treatable form of the big ‘C’ — I was quickly told that I had a very “non-aggressive, slow-moving” form of the disease. It had a name, and could be treated, and treated successfully. There was no need to buy a Porsche. There really wasn’t a need to talk or write about it either — I hate the entire sappy, manipulative and suffer-porn aspect of having cancer. The only disease where the sufferer is gifted with more bogus virtue and Absolute Moral Authority is AIDS.

But then I found myself desiring a pair of shoes — specifically, the “Alden for J. Crew cap toe cordovan boots.” The description made it sound like making a pair of these things was like constructing a small bridge. These aren’t shoes, or boots, they’re “a handcrafter masterpiece in genuine shell cordovan leather by Alden (est. 1884), an icon of old school American shoemaking.” The shoes are “vegetable tanned for six months” and boast Alden’s “famed Goodyear welt.” They looked absolutely gorgeous — a deep, almost maroon shade of brown. The back of the boot drew up elegantly from the heel, like the curve of a voluptuous woman.

I had to have them.

The thing was, I’m a journalist. A freelance journalist. I can live on $600 for approximately eight years.

I went online and ordered the shoes.

I won’t go into the slow, ravishing seduction of the day they arrived. Or the first time I wore them. A gentleman doesn’t discuss such things. I will say that as well as being a beautiful companion, my Alden’s — made in the USA! — are a strong, supportive one.

One of the first things I noticed after putting them on is that pebbles, sand, and other street debris are easily crushed in a pair of shoes this grand. After the winter snows in Washington, the sidewalks have a nasty top layer of sand, street cleaner, pebbles and miscellaneous gunk. Walking down the street, my boots made a sound similar to that of a kid eating a bowl of corn flakes. There was a thick yet comfortable layer between me and the street. The shoes also hugged my feet and ankles like a dream. I soon realized that I had probably saved money in the long run. These shoes were guaranteed for life; I could send them back to Alden for resoling anytime. Instead of spending $100 every couple years for new shoes, I’d never have to buy another pair.

Although, now I’m kind of craving the Alden long wing blucher oxfords (where do they come up with these names?)

Looking lovingly at my masterpieces of podiatric art, I realized that when people are diagnosed with scary diseases, they don’t buy cool stuff to deny or flee from the afterlife. We buy the stuff, I think, because it gives us a hint of the afterlife. In my tradition, the Catholic tradition, we believe in what the late Fr. Thomas Dubay called “the evidential power of beauty.” We believe that beautiful things — whether a full moon, a symphony, or a nurse helping a patient — herald heaven. They point to the perfection of God. We don’t buy the stuff to run away from, but to run towards.

Although I should not have been, I was amazed recently when I came across a review of the movie “Of Gods and Men” by Anthony Lane in the New Yorker. It tells the story of a group of Algerian monks who are murdered by Muslim extremists. When they know they are going to die, the monks take it with quiet grace. This baffles Lane:

Why…should [the monks] seem neither defeated nor destroyed? Perhaps because [director Xavier] Beauvois has used his film to honor their glad resilience and the pattern of their days — broken, typically, by Brother Luc, who, as the end draws nigh, opens two bottles of wine, at dinner, and, in place of the customary spiritual readings, puts on a recording of “Swan Lake.” I’m not sure I believe the scene, yet the belief that it enshrines feels true; the monks are saying farewell to worldly things, drinking deep of passing joys.

In fact, the monks may not be saying farewell to passing joys at all. They may be enjoying a foretaste of indescribable joys to come. It’s also surprising, although at this point it shouldn’t be, that a journalist can have such depthless ignorance about Christianity. Yes, a group of monks enjoying wine at a last supper. What were they thinking? If I had been one of them, I would have gone down, as they say, with my boots on.

Mark Judge is the author of A Tremor of Bliss: Sex, Catholicism, and Rock ‘n’ Roll.

PREMIUM ARTICLE: Subscribe To Keep Reading

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign Up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
BENEFITS READERS PASS PATRIOTS FOUNDERS
Daily and Breaking Newsletters
Daily Caller Shows
Ad Free Experience
Exclusive Articles
Custom Newsletters
Editor Daily Rundown
Behind The Scenes Coverage
Award Winning Documentaries
Patriot War Room
Patriot Live Chat
Exclusive Events
Gold Membership Card
Tucker Mug

What does Founders Club include?

Tucker Mug and Membership Card
Founders

Readers,

Instead of sucking up to the political and corporate powers that dominate America, The Daily Caller is fighting for you — our readers. We humbly ask you to consider joining us in this fight.

Now that millions of readers are rejecting the increasingly biased and even corrupt corporate media and joining us daily, there are powerful forces lined up to stop us: the old guard of the news media hopes to marginalize us; the big corporate ad agencies want to deprive us of revenue and put us out of business; senators threaten to have our reporters arrested for asking simple questions; the big tech platforms want to limit our ability to communicate with you; and the political party establishments feel threatened by our independence.

We don't complain -- we can't stand complainers -- but we do call it how we see it. We have a fight on our hands, and it's intense. We need your help to smash through the big tech, big media and big government blockade.

We're the insurgent outsiders for a reason: our deep-dive investigations hold the powerful to account. Our original videos undermine their narratives on a daily basis. Even our insistence on having fun infuriates them -- because we won’t bend the knee to political correctness.

One reason we stand apart is because we are not afraid to say we love America. We love her with every fiber of our being, and we think she's worth saving from today’s craziness.

Help us save her.

A second reason we stand out is the sheer number of honest responsible reporters we have helped train. We have trained so many solid reporters that they now hold prominent positions at publications across the political spectrum. Hear a rare reasonable voice at a place like CNN? There’s a good chance they were trained at Daily Caller. Same goes for the numerous Daily Caller alumni dominating the news coverage at outlets such as Fox News, Newsmax, Daily Wire and many others.

Simply put, America needs solid reporters fighting to tell the truth or we will never have honest elections or a fair system. We are working tirelessly to make that happen and we are making a difference.

Since 2010, The Daily Caller has grown immensely. We're in the halls of Congress. We're in the Oval Office. And we're in up to 20 million homes every single month. That's 20 million Americans like you who are impossible to ignore.

We can overcome the forces lined up against all of us. This is an important mission but we can’t do it unless you — the everyday Americans forgotten by the establishment — have our back.

Please consider becoming a Daily Caller Patriot today, and help us keep doing work that holds politicians, corporations and other leaders accountable. Help us thumb our noses at political correctness. Help us train a new generation of news reporters who will actually tell the truth. And help us remind Americans everywhere that there are millions of us who remain clear-eyed about our country's greatness.

In return for membership, Daily Caller Patriots will be able to read The Daily Caller without any of the ads that we have long used to support our mission. We know the ads drive you crazy. They drive us crazy too. But we need revenue to keep the fight going. If you join us, we will cut out the ads for you and put every Lincoln-headed cent we earn into amplifying our voice, training even more solid reporters, and giving you the ad-free experience and lightning fast website you deserve.

Patriots will also be eligible for Patriots Only content, newsletters, chats and live events with our reporters and editors. It's simple: welcome us into your lives, and we'll welcome you into ours.

We can save America together.

Become a Daily Caller Patriot today.

Signature

Neil Patel