Pretentious White People union angered by breakdown in ‘Mad Men’ talks

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Contract negotiations between AMC and the creator of “Mad Men” broke down this week, angering the powerful Pretentious White People of America union. The show was scheduled to begin its fifth season this summer, but is now on ice until at least 2012.

A spokesman for the union said he was disappointed that rank-and-file pretentious white people were being shut out of negotiations so important to their daily lives,

“You never think about what it will be like when there’s no easy way to ostentatiously insert your encyclopedic knowledge of mid-century modern furniture design into water-cooler conversation until it’s gone, you know?” said union representative Seth Ogden-Maynard, 34, of Portland.

In a last-ditch effort to mollify pretentious white people, the entertainment industry has put forth an offer that would let them bitch incessantly and predictably about corporate greed standing in the way of quality artistic expression until such time as “Mad Men” goes back into production.

Ogden-Maynard said the union has not yet made a decision about the offer, but called it a sign that negotiators might be coming to understand the plight of his people.

“We expect to announce a final decision when and only when I get back from picking up Beckett and Olivia from Montessori School around 3 p.m.,” he said.