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TheDC Morning: Keith Olbermann: tanned, bloated, and ready

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1.) What happens in Vegas stays in chatlogs from Weiner’s fangirls — Another day, another astonishingly humiliating revelation about Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY). NY Post: “Just when you didn’t think it could get worse, new X-rated text messages were made public today where Rep. Anthony Weiner got down and dirty with one of the women he had befriended on Facebook — even telling her that he was prepared to travel to Nevada to bed her. In a series of dirty chat messages dating back to Sept. 17, 2010, the kinky Weiner wrote to 40-year-old Lisa Weiss — a Nevada blackjack dealer who went back and forth with Weiner on Facebook for more than a year — that he was interested in meeting her. ‘i’m ready for a vegas trip. truth telling during the day. got a night plan for us?’ Weiner wrote, according to a transcript of 220 messages posted on RadarOnline.com.” Hey, is the sun out? Then Anthony Weiner must be telling the truth! That’s pretty much the only chat excerpt suitable for this e-mail, but you can read the entire thing at RadarOnline. Be warned: it is HILARIOUS. When Weiner says, “This thing is ready to do damage,” he doesn’t mean Obamacare.

2.) Dems heed Weiner’s expiration date — What do you do when a Weiner starts to smell even worse than usual? You throw it out. The shunning begins: Pelosi — Pelosi! — is making noises about an ethics investigation. Reid told Weiner to “call somebody else.” Weiner’s fellow House Dems are donating their campaign contributions from him to charity. Tim Kaine and Ed Schultz and many others are calling for his resignation. You’d almost feel bad for Rep. Weiner if he wasn’t such a dishonest, unpleasant person, and if this hell he’s trapped in wasn’t entirely self-made.

3.) Barbara Walters not getting any smarter — If you think you know why Anthony Weiner did this to himself, Barbara Walters is here to set you straight. TheDC’s Jeff Poor writes: “Walters offered viewers one reason that she found plausible for why Weiner and others have ended up going down this road of infidelity – erectile dysfunction medication… ‘So, I was with some doctors last night and one of them said and ‘You know, we keep saying, why did he do it?’ He has a lovely wife. Why is he doing it? This is not my theory. That it is a result of Viagra and what is the other one?’ ‘Cialis,’ the various members of The View panel replied.” Walters didn’t explain who the doctors were, but presumably they’re the ones who will soon put her brain in a glass jar and preserve it for study by future generations of dumbologists. Just kidding. They’ll use a shot glass.
4.) Rich guys apologize for succeeding — Do you want to make more money? Sure, we all do. Do you want to keep some of it? Now hold on a second! TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports: “The Patriotic Millionaires, a group of millionaires who believe that government should increase their tax rate, released a video calling on congress to do so. The group, organized by The Agenda Project, seeks to end the Bush Tax Cuts that Obama extended last year, saying that it is unfair to give tax cuts to people in the highest income bracket. ‘You decided our country needed less money, and millionaires like me needed more,’ says the script of the video, read by a series of millionaires who signed the original petition. ‘Less money for roads to transfer our products, for high speed internet to build our technology companies, for science research, education, for universities, and research to spark our innovation,’ they say. ‘Rich people are not the cause of a robust economy, they’re the result of a robust economy,’ one says.” Hey, if these geniuses can’t spend their money more wisely than the government can, why should anybody else be allowed to? Maybe in their next video, they’ll explain who’s stopping them from flushing as much of their cash down the toilet as they think is fair. That’s not the point, of course. The point is to share their misery.
5.) Keith Olbermann: tanned, bloated, and ready — Has it really been six months since Keith Olbermann left MSNBC? How time flies! His new show on Current TV doesn’t start for a couple of weeks, but he’s already acting all Olbermanny about it. He tells the Hollywood Reporter: “I don’t think my former employers thought this was going to turn out quite this way. I just don’t think they thought they’d be in competition with me, so fast or at all. And my understanding is this has left a certain tension over there.” Apparently nobody has told Keith that Current TV is in fewer homes than the VCR. But hey, soon everybody will be calling the cable company and demanding their Olby TV, so they don’t miss regular contributors like… um… Michael Moore and Markos Moulitsas. Another delightful tidbit: Keith claims he’s getting a huge pay raise, but “Current TV disputes the figure.” Why should he wait until his show debuts to start alienating yet another set of bosses?
6.) Today’s words of wisdom from Alec Baldwin’s Twitter feed — “I want to be a Luchador.”
VIDEO: Christopher Titus used to be famous, sort of

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