When it comes to entertaining books, there are those that are fun and those that are really off-the-hook fun. And by this I mean the class of writing that doesn’t tax one’s brain yet stimulates the pleasure center. And if such an enigma exists, then it should probably go ahead and address one of our most common and vexing conditions, a curse dating to time immemorial.
In the heartwarming tale “Go the Fuck to Sleep,” author Adam Mansbach takes readers on an all-too-familiar journey through the all-too-familiar ritual of that special time of evening when parents and children share some of the tenderest moments of their lives. Yes, it’s the special ring of hell, somewhere between anger and violence, called “bedtime” — that precious 15 minutes to four hours that we spend with the wee ones (and the not-so-wee ones) each night. Tempers gently flaring, wine glasses placed carefully aside, the look of death darting lovingly from our eyes. Yes, Mansbach may have solved one of mankind’s longest and most difficult struggles. Okay, solved may be too strong a term; let’s say salved, but understand that “Go the Fuck to Sleep” may be the last bedtime book any parent will need.
From the calming and cozy illustrations of Ricardo Cortes to the shocking juxtaposition of each page’s clever new iteration of the book’s title, the book virtually guarantees that this nightmarish ritual will be forever changed. Your children will either be fast asleep or will pretend to be, so you’ll go the fuck away and they can call Child Services.
At 34 colorful pages, there’s a lot of f-bomb love to go around, but I’m pretty sure my favorite part is: “I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying. Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.” Yes, this tome screams out to be read in the stentorian voice of Samuel L. Jackson. Wait! In fact there is an audio version of just this available at www.av.com. Save your vocal chords.
And the book is wildly popular. It was number one on Amazon seven months prior to its publishing date, due to a leaked PDF that went viral. Whether that was dumb luck or a savvy guerilla marketing technique, it worked. This book is leading, or close to leading, a nifty little trend of children’s books for adults. There is, of course, “Goodnight Keith Moon,” a British book riffing on the omnipresent “Goodnight Moon.” In the former, the child is replaced by The Who’s late, great drummer. Bedroom becomes hotel room and the copy runs something like this: “And some whiskey and fish and some more in a dish, and the ghost of Cass Elliott whispering shhh.” You get the idea. Funny stuff. Unless one reveres Mr. Moon as a God, as I do. Oh hell, this stuff is funny anyway.
To the book at hand, this collection of satirical quatrains is a must-have for any parent, if only for the cathartic effect of these rollicking lines rolling around their heads while they attempt to actually put the little buggers to bed.
All the kids from day care are in dreamland
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.
Yes, from bathtime to teeth brushing, to PJs to the kids’ third meal of the eve, this is one work of fiction that people can most certainly believe.
David H. Bass is president and CEO of Washington-based Raptor Strategies, LLC, an independent public relations and public affairs firm specializing in media, issue advocacy, state and federal government affairs.
