DC Trawler

TheDC Morning: Fewer and fewer Americans capable of comprehending Obama’s greatness

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1.) Fewer and fewer Americans capable of comprehending Obama’s greatness — You were doing fine there for a while, America. You bought the hype. You were charmed by the smile. You were hypnotized by the mellifluous voice. Why did you have to go and ruin everything by paying attention to how the guy’s actually doing in office? TheDC’s C.J. Ciaramella reports: “President Obama’s job approval hit a new low today, according to the latest Gallup poll. How low? Lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon wheel rut. Only 26 percent of Americans approve of Obama’s handling of the economy, to be exact. The new low is a drop of 11 percentage points since Gallup last measured it in May and well below his previous low of 35 percent in November 2010. Obama earned similarly low approval for his handling of the federal budget deficit (24 percent) and creating jobs (29 percent). His approval ratings on Afghanistan and foreign affairs also sunk by 15 points and 9 points, respectively.” Back in the old days — 2009 — Obama’s high approval ratings were proof he was right and was doing a good job. Which means his low approval ratings prove… nothing, of course. Polls are racist. Isn’t it about time for a federal ban on pollsters?

2.) Holder still trying to make Fast and Furious go away — Operation Fast and Furious, the ATF gunrunning sting that has so far resulted in at least 150 shootings and the death of a US Border Patrol agent, continues to be a pesky nuisance for Eric Holder. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle reports: “New details about Operation Fast and Furious cast doubt on the ability of the Justice Department’s Office of Inspector General to conduct an ‘independent’ and fair investigation, congressional Republican investigators say. The information comes via a letter Sen. Chuck Grassley and Rep. Darrell Issa sent to Attorney General Eric Holder on Tuesday. In it, they question a request from Holder for a transcript from a meeting they held in secret on July 4th with Ken Melson, acting director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Holder apparently told Issa and Grassley he was requesting the transcript for the DOJ and for the Office of the Inspector General — the entity that’s supposed to be distinct enough from Holder’s office to conduct a fair Operation Fast and Furious investigation. Holder and other DOJ officials have repeatedly said the DOJ’s Inspector General is conducting its own internal investigation into what went wrong with Fast and Furious. Even so, Holder’s latest request on behalf of the OIG sparks skepticism from investigators in Congress.” What’s the big deal? It’s called CYA, guys. Holder’s at least gotta try.

3.) Barry lied, Joe Wilson was vilified
— Remember when Obama was speaking before Congress and claimed Obamacare wouldn’t benefit illegal immigrants, and Joe Wilson was all like, “You lie”? Remember how outraged all the libs were? Ahhh, memories. As C.J. Ciaramella reports, Wilson was right: “In an appearance on Fox News’ America Live on Wednesday, Wilson said a recent award of $28 million to community health care centers around the country will no doubt benefit illegal immigrants, despite Obama’s pledge. Department of Health and Human Services spokesmen have confirmed $8.5 million of the grant will go to centers serving migrant and seasonal farm workers, saying patients will not be asked about immigration status. The centers will offer primary care to all residents who come in. ‘It is clearly providing money that should be going to American citizens to illegal immigrants,’ Wilson said. ‘It’s even worse than I thought. They won’t even ask for status.'” Just because he was right doesn’t mean anything. Joe Wilson was a terrorist way back before the left was desperate enough to call their opponents terrorists.

4.) Onanist 9/11 — TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein read Michael Moore’s book so you don’t have to: “If you’re the type who loves to be regaled by Michael Moore’s teenage masturbation stories, you are going to love his new ‘anti-memoir,’ set to be released September 13. If, however, you just threw up on yourself, you might think twice before opening up ‘Here Comes Trouble: Stories from My Life.’ Moore’s new tome is divided into more than 20 chapters containing stories of his large life. In order to get through the stories, of course, you have to trust that what Moore says is true. Given his record, that’s next to impossible… If you have any respect for yourself, don’t read this book. The best that can be said of ‘Here Comes Trouble’ is that it would make a stellar alternative for the CIA to use in lieu of waterboarding. Given the option, I am sure terrorists would rather endure simulated drowning than be forced to hear how Moore ‘consoled’ himself in bed as a teenager ‘with the latest issue of the Paris Match.'” Fortunately for all of us, Moore can’t get a movie made like he used to, so we’ll probably be spared seeing this scene depicted by Jonah Hill.

5.) Anderson Cooper is funny
— Knock knock! Who’s there? Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper who? Anderson Cooper who is a professional journalist. The CNN anchor has been known to chastise TheDC for failing to discern his subtle, nuanced brand of humor, but there was no missing it this week as Cooper laughed himself silly at a story about a funny Frenchman making wee-wee on an airy-plane. TheDC’s Paul Conner gives us the story: “CNN host Anderson Cooper really got himself tickled with a long succession of urine jokes about French actor Gerard Depardieu reportedly relieving himself on the floor of an airplane headed to Dublin from Paris Tuesday. Depardieu’s alleged in-flight tinkle earned him a spot on Cooper’s ‘RidicuList,’ replete with pee puns that were so funny to Cooper that he spent about 45 seconds on air giggling and cackling with his producers behind the cameras.” The joke that did it? “Now, all I can say is, they should thank their lucky stars it wasn’t Depard-two.” See, because the man could’ve made a doodie up in the sky instead of a piddle. Get it? You really need to watch the video to appreciate Cooper’s girlish giggling. Has CNN considered punctuating its newscasts with fart noises for its anchors to titter at like babies? It works for YouTube. Except people actually watch YouTube.

6.) Today’s words of wisdom from Adam Baldwin’s Twitter feed — “Dear Obama supporters: In your view, what inoculates him from being a ‘chickenhawk’? ~ #LameDuck #PresidentDowngrade #Libya”

VIDEO: Mary Katharine Ham praises the feds for apprehending an 11-year-old master criminal who saved a bird from being eaten by a cat

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