DC Trawler

Oprah tried to buy a handbag in Switzerland and it turned into this whole big thing and she’s sorry she brought it up but not really

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If you don’t know about this stupid “news story” yet: Last week, Oprah Winfrey told Entertainment Tonight a dumb anecdote about trying to buy a handbag in some fancy shop in Switzerland, and the clerk — who apparently isn’t fluent in English — told her she couldn’t afford it, or implied it, or something. So of course, Oprah tried to turn that into a racist incident. Because why not?

But then it blew up in her face, and now she’s backing off from it. Sort of.

“I’m sorry I said an anonymous Swiss shopgirl was racist to me. I was just trying to explain what it’s like to be a once-famous multi-millionaire and have someone say something to me that I didn’t like, because she didn’t recognize me, which I then attributed to racism because I’ve got a movie about racism to promote this week.”

Good news though, you guys:

Oh. So when the clerk said, “You don’t want that handbag, it’s too expensive,” it wasn’t because Oprah’s black, but because the handbag was really expensive? Well, that can’t be it.

It sure is tough to decode all this hidden racism. Well, this is Switzerland we’re talking about, and Oprah’s complaining about it, so presumably the clerk is white. That settles it, then: RACIST.

It’s magnanimous of Oprah to kinda-sorta forgive this obvious act of racism. And the self-evidently bigoted clerk is getting what’s coming to her:

Meanwhile, the store clerk concerned told Swiss daily newspaper Blick, in an interview printed Sunday, that she felt “terrible” and had not been able to sleep for days.

The woman, who gave her name as Adriana N. because she said she didn’t want to be hassled on the street, said, “I feel as if I’m in the middle of a whirlwind. Totally powerless, as if everything’s been taken from me. It’s a horror, what’s happened.”

That’s what you get for displeasing someone who’s better than you because she has a lot of money and power.

Just kidding. You might think this is a story about a wealthy jerk bullying a 99-percenter because of her own deep-seated delusions, but that’s only because you’re a racist. So shut up.

Update: Oh, it turns out this Adriana person is from Italy. We all know how those people are! You tell ’em, Oprah.

Update: The owner of the boutique says, “I don’t know why she talked of racism… Maybe she was somewhat offended because she was not immediately recognized in the store.” Ya know, I don’t think we can entirely dismiss that as a possibility. But of course, it’s still racist and stuff.

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Jim Treacher