DC Trawler

Pandas Do Not Have Personalities

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Did you know that human beings hold awards ceremonies for pandas? Well, I call them human beings, but that status should be revoked as punishment for their imbecilic folly.

Perry Stein, WaPo:

Bao Bao has a good personality, but as far as pandas go, not the best one.

The National Zoo’s celebrity panda cub took home silver from the “Panda Personality of 2014″ contest at last week’s Giant Panda Zoo Awards in Belgium — an award ceremony for panda enthusiasts and conservationists put on by Giant Panda Zoo, a Web site dedicated to protecting the endangered species.

Belgium. It figures.

The “winner” was something called Yuan Zai, which is allowed to exist at the Taipei Zoo. It had no comment on its “personality,” because it is not a person. It is a filthy panda.

A person has a personality. A panda has a pile of bamboo-scented crap that it rolls around in while stupid people titter with joy. Then, having only dull, witless personalities themselves, these people invest this dumb creature’s bumbling with something they falsely call “personality.”

What a repulsive farce.

Anyway. Congratulations, Bao Bao! You’re such a cutie! Wookit oo widdle face! Etc.