Justin Bieber got raked over the coals this weekend by a slew of celebrities and comedians, all with at least a decade on the newly 21-year-old, during the taping of his Comedy Central roast.
Kevin Hart, deemed the roastmaster, opened up by saying they were prepared to give him the “ass whooping he deserves.”
“Tonight, we are gonna do what [Justin’s] parents and the legal system should have done a long time ago,” Hart said.
Jeff Ross, Pete Davidson, Hannibal Buress, Natasha Leggero, Chris D’Elia, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Shaquille O’Neal, Ron Burgundy and Martha Stewart, all non-Beliebers, did not spare the king of petty crime at all.
Here are the best burns from Bieber’s roast. Keep in mind he willingly submitted to this.
- Shaq: “Last year you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-un didn’t even score that low, and he uses your music to fuckin’ torture people.”
- Martha Stewart: “Justin, you have no idea what you’re in for. I’m sure it’s great to have 60 million followers on Twitter, but the only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”
- Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy: “This kid has spunk, moxie, and probably a few other STDs.”
- Snoop Dogg: “You have left so many horrible and unwatchable videos, you should change your name to Vanilla ISIS.”
- Hannibal Buress: “I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy.”
- Chris D’Elia: “I’m proud of you. You have it all. You literally are a guy who has it all — except for respect, love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy.”
- Kevin Hart: “Justin’s Canadian. He’s actually considered American, because no Canadian has ever been this much of an asshole.”
- Natasha Leggero: “Justin’s fans are called Beliebers, because these days it’s considered politically incorrect to use the term retards.”
Bieber, who almost regularly does something stupid like egging his neighbor’s house or using a wheelchair to cut lines at Disneyland, chose to end his public roasting with a long-winded plea for people to give him another chance. (RELATED: This Former Inmate Is About To Roast Justin Bieber)
“The things that I’ve done really don’t define who I am. I’m a kind-hearted person who loves people, and through it all, I lost some of my best qualities. For that, I’m sorry,” Bieber said.
“I’m looking forward to being someone to be proud of. Someone close to me once said how you rise from a fall is how you are truly defined as a man.”
The roast airs March 30 on Comedy Central. (RELATED: This Proves How Immature Justin Bieber Really Is)