Here Are The Words Hillary’s Supporters Won’t Let You Say

Patrick Howley Political Reporter
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Do you work in the media and have the gall to think that the entire Webster’s dictionary is at your disposal? Think again, you sexist.

When it comes to reporting on Hillary Clinton, George Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” have turned into “Twelve Words You Can Never Say About a Powerful Politician.”

“We will be watching, reading, listening and protesting coded sexism,” the pro-Hillary group HRC Super Volunteers warned The New York Times’ Amy Chozick Wednesday.

HRC Super Volunteers have been laying in wait for Clinton to announce her candidacy, with one organizer of the independent group boasting to colleagues that “our supervols tended to be more loyal to HRC than hired staff who worried about getting a job after the campaign. I think back to the staff party in Denver when me, Ahmed, and another top vol were the only ones with Hillary buttons.”

Here are the words that you can’t use to describe Clinton:


Yup. Nothing polarizing about this.


I usually pair this with the term “cold.” As in, “Cold War.” Or, “cold, loveless marriage.”


Like when chicks say “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Or, you know, “I’m on the pill.”

Or when, you know, Bill pretended he was crying about the death of Ron Brown when actually he was laughing.


What about “insecure”? Isn’t that more of a sexist term? I know a lot of women who are insecure. Some might say I have a radar for finding it.


Women are lazy. Everybody knows that. How come most of them don’t even work, like Ann Romney. Pfft. Bunch of sexists.

girl animated GIF


It’s inevitable that this adjective would be considered sexist at some point.


“I drive these brothers crazy, I do it on the daily, They treat me really nicely, They buy me all these ices. Dolce & Gabbana, Fendi and that Donna Karan, they be sharin’ All their money got me wearin’ fly…

“Brother I ain’t askin, They say they love my ass ‘n, Seven Jeans, True Religion’s, I say no, but they keep givin’ So I keep on takin’ And no I ain’t taken We can keep on datin’ I keep on demonstrating.”

Hillary’s not like that. She was practically poor after the White House, remember?

over confident

Don’t say this about Hillary, but it applies to Beyonce. Because Beyonce is a confident black woman. Beyonce is a CONFIDENT black woman. Okay? Beyonce is not a weak black woman. Beyonce is a CONFIDENT black woman.

beyonce animated GIF


Did they tack this one on after the secretive-email scandal?

“will do anything to win”

This one time, I was rapping to a broad, but this other girl also liked me, and the other girl was kind of hotter, and she was all like “I’ma do anything to win” against the other chick. And I was all, “Game on, ladies.” They competed about who was the best at grinding up on me. Best $180 I ever spent.

“represents the past”

Hahahaha. Oh my God. The Hillary campaign might as well release a strategy memo entitled, “Our Weaknesses: A Study on American Sexism.”

“out of touch”

They didn’t put “old” on here for some reason. They didn’t put in “elderly” or “ancient” or “Grandma Moses” or “go put in your dentures, Oldie Oldie Oldenheim.” Weird. Those would have been my contributions to the list.

So, y’all have been warned. Don’t use any of those words to describe Hillary Clinton or else the “Super Volunteers” are going to get ya. They’re watching…

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