DC Trawler

The Return Of America’s Favorite Clinton: Roger

There are a lot of good reasons to make Hillary Clinton the next President of the United States. Here are a few, just off the top of my head:

  • She’s a woman
  • She’s married to a guy who used to be president
  • People know who she is
  • She’s a woman
  • She’s not a man
  • She doesn’t lie about everything, probably
  • She isn’t a Republican
  • She’s a woman
  • She’s a woman
  • She’s a woman

But more importantly, when Hillary moves into the Oval Office, it’ll give Bill’s big bro Roger another couch to crash on! I love that guy, and I’m always glad when he’s back in the news. Josh Fatzick reports:

After the earthquakes that rocked Haiti in 2010 left hundreds of thousands of people homeless, Bill Clinton’s half-brother promised a Houston businessman he could help land contracts to rebuild.

Roger Clinton took $100,000 from the man on the promise that influence from his brother could get him a contract through the Clinton Foundation for a project building new houses, The New York Times reports…

The plan didn’t pan out, though, as Coleman told the Times, Bill Clinton took a tour of his demonstration home, but in the end chose to go with a different company.

This doesn’t seem so bad, does it? In terms of shady Clinton deals, that is. Bill and Hillary really messed up the curve.

In celebration of Roger Clinton’s return to public life, and as an example of the timeless power of music, I present the following:

Roger Clinton and Chris Jagger. Their brothers get all the cash and glory, but they’ve got all the talent. I hope they play at the inauguration!