Look, I’m all for civil liberties and whatnot, but what’s wrong with a little fun?
MacKenzie Elmer, Des Moines Register:
Instead of slinging electricity at a Van Meter city official, the winner of a fundraising raffle will instead shoot a police Taser at a target.
The city is modifying a plan that would have allowed citizens to purchase $5 raffle tickets for a chance to use a Taser on either City Administrator Jake Anderson or Councilman Bob Lacy at a celebration on July 18…
The ACLU of Iowa and a physician from the University of Iowa expressed concerns over the original Tasing event.
“I am pleased to hear that Van Meter has listened to the very important concerns raised about the Taser raffle. I hope that this has resulted in a better understanding of how dangerous Tasers can be, and the need to ensure that they are only used by properly trained law enforcement personnel operating under clear policies,” Jeremy Rosen, director of ACLU of Iowa, said in a statement.
Then he went around Whoville and stole everybody’s Christmas presents.
Of course Tasers are dangerous. Otherwise, who would buy a ticket to tase a politician?
If anything, holding a raffle isn’t enough. Politicians should be tased regularly, at random intervals. We’d all be better off if they lived in fear of a good solid jolt at any moment. It’d go a long way toward ridding us of all that graft and corruption and Obamacare (pardon the redundancy). It would lift people’s spirits, and every single employee of Vine and YouTube could each buy a private island.
Most importantly, it would discourage Americans from pursuing a career in public service. Eventually we’d run out of masochists and would need to conscript people into public office, but that’s simple enough for anybody who’s ever read Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery.”
Mandatory, random tasing of all public officials. Let’s do this, America!
