DC Trawler

Animals Are Revolting

Font Size:

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not telling you that animals are disgusting, nauseating, vomit-inducing filth and they all need to be wiped out. That goes without saying. I’m telling you that they’re now in open revolt against the human race. And I was very nearly a casualty in their war on mankind.

WISH-TV, Indianapolis:

The cheetah attraction at the Indianapolis Zoo remains closed as officials investigate how a cheetah got out of his main exhibit area.

It prompted the zoo to go on lockdown Sunday morning…

“Immediately, every worker was there to get everyone out of the Plains exhibit and keep them away from the exhibit,” said John Staub, who was in the exhibit with his family when zoo officials noticed the cheetah, named Pounce, outside his holding area…

Zoo officials are now investigating how Pounce got over a wall in his exhibit. He was found lying in high grass, still behind a secondary fence, but just steps away from visitors.

Read those blood-chilling words again: Just steps away from visitors.

And now for the most shocking part: A mere 12 hours before, I was in downtown Indianapolis, just blocks away from the zoo. Not a care in the world had I while this horrifying monster lay in wait, biding its time until it could attack.

Don’t worry, though, I’m okay. I escaped with my life.

This time.

It’s obvious what’s going on here. The animals don’t like what I’ve been saying about them. They want to stop the truth from getting out. They can’t account for themselves, they know what they’re doing is wrong, so they’re trying to shut up anyone who’s brave enough to tell them we’ve had enough of their crap.

Wake up, animal-huggers. This is what your precious cheetahs do when they’re not locked up like they’re supposed to be:

Of course that impala ran to humans for help. It knew we were its only hope. And as soon as the cameras went away, it went right back to running for its life. That’s what happens when you allow these vermin to roam free.

If we’re going to keep animals around, they belong in cages. Lock them all up and throw away the key. Hell, throw away the zoo. Just keep them away from us humans, because we’re better and more important than they are.

Well. I am, anyway…

Update: Whereas these people definitely aren’t.

Update:

PREMIUM ARTICLE: Subscribe To Keep Reading

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign Up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
BENEFITS READERS PASS PATRIOTS FOUNDERS
Daily and Breaking Newsletters
Daily Caller Shows
Ad Free Experience
Exclusive Articles
Custom Newsletters
Editor Daily Rundown
Behind The Scenes Coverage
Award Winning Documentaries
Patriot War Room
Patriot Live Chat
Exclusive Events
Gold Membership Card
Tucker Mug

What does Founders Club include?

Tucker Mug and Membership Card
Founders

Readers,

Instead of sucking up to the political and corporate powers that dominate America, The Daily Caller is fighting for you — our readers. We humbly ask you to consider joining us in this fight.

Now that millions of readers are rejecting the increasingly biased and even corrupt corporate media and joining us daily, there are powerful forces lined up to stop us: the old guard of the news media hopes to marginalize us; the big corporate ad agencies want to deprive us of revenue and put us out of business; senators threaten to have our reporters arrested for asking simple questions; the big tech platforms want to limit our ability to communicate with you; and the political party establishments feel threatened by our independence.

We don't complain -- we can't stand complainers -- but we do call it how we see it. We have a fight on our hands, and it's intense. We need your help to smash through the big tech, big media and big government blockade.

We're the insurgent outsiders for a reason: our deep-dive investigations hold the powerful to account. Our original videos undermine their narratives on a daily basis. Even our insistence on having fun infuriates them -- because we won’t bend the knee to political correctness.

One reason we stand apart is because we are not afraid to say we love America. We love her with every fiber of our being, and we think she's worth saving from today’s craziness.

Help us save her.

A second reason we stand out is the sheer number of honest responsible reporters we have helped train. We have trained so many solid reporters that they now hold prominent positions at publications across the political spectrum. Hear a rare reasonable voice at a place like CNN? There’s a good chance they were trained at Daily Caller. Same goes for the numerous Daily Caller alumni dominating the news coverage at outlets such as Fox News, Newsmax, Daily Wire and many others.

Simply put, America needs solid reporters fighting to tell the truth or we will never have honest elections or a fair system. We are working tirelessly to make that happen and we are making a difference.

Since 2010, The Daily Caller has grown immensely. We're in the halls of Congress. We're in the Oval Office. And we're in up to 20 million homes every single month. That's 20 million Americans like you who are impossible to ignore.

We can overcome the forces lined up against all of us. This is an important mission but we can’t do it unless you — the everyday Americans forgotten by the establishment — have our back.

Please consider becoming a Daily Caller Patriot today, and help us keep doing work that holds politicians, corporations and other leaders accountable. Help us thumb our noses at political correctness. Help us train a new generation of news reporters who will actually tell the truth. And help us remind Americans everywhere that there are millions of us who remain clear-eyed about our country's greatness.

In return for membership, Daily Caller Patriots will be able to read The Daily Caller without any of the ads that we have long used to support our mission. We know the ads drive you crazy. They drive us crazy too. But we need revenue to keep the fight going. If you join us, we will cut out the ads for you and put every Lincoln-headed cent we earn into amplifying our voice, training even more solid reporters, and giving you the ad-free experience and lightning fast website you deserve.

Patriots will also be eligible for Patriots Only content, newsletters, chats and live events with our reporters and editors. It's simple: welcome us into your lives, and we'll welcome you into ours.

We can save America together.

Become a Daily Caller Patriot today.

Signature

Neil Patel