I haven’t seen the literally dickless Ghostbusters yet, which is both good news and bad news. Good news, because I’m an agent of the patriarchy and therefore my opinion doesn’t matter. Bad news, because I have disposable income and this movie hasn’t gotten any of it. But it’s 2016, so I’m used to being wrong no matter what I do.
The movie is getting mixed reviews, but they’re trending somewhat positive. And it’s #2 at the box office, after a week-old cartoon about talking animals with secret lives. So, both critically and financially, it’s doing better than the MRAs wanted but worse than the SJWs wanted. It’s not a hit, but it’s not a bomb. It’s not a crowd-pleaser, but it’s not a disaster. It’s just sorta meh.
This movie has become a front in the culture wars, but there’s no clear winner. Neither side really has anything to brag about.
Who ya gonna call? Boastbusters!
I think they’re all being pretty dumb. I’m not in the You Bitches Have Ruined My Childhood camp, because that’s ridiculous. The original, horribly misogynist movie still exists. Anybody reading this dumb blog post can click this link right now. Boom. The movie is right there, dude. Go watch it right now if you want. The fat lady with the proton pack can only ruin your childhood if you let her.
But I’m not in the You Must Watch and Enjoy This Movie for the Good of Women camp, either. I’m actually seeing thinkpieces by feminists and other lefties who have seen the movie and don’t like it, but insist you need to see it anyway or else Hollywood will stop making movies with female protagonists. No pressure, Melissa McCarthy!
Sonny Bunch at the Washington Free Beacon has a good essay today titled “How to Talk About Ghostbusters Without Sounding Like a Jerk.” I’ve failed already, obviously, but it’s possible.
And the hack frauds at Red Letter Media have just put out their review. They’re major fanboys of the original, and they did not like the remake at all. But Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head Vodka sure did ease the pain. They ain’t ‘fraid of no cirrhosis!
WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE, MISOGYNY, FAT DRUNKEN CHEESEHEADS
[RIMSHOT]
Sounds like Ghostbusters 2016: Drinking Male Tears is one of those movies where the director just shoved all the actors in front of the camera and let ’em say whatever they wanted. Who needs a full script when you’ve got a group of talented comedians who can entertain America off the top of their heads? That’s the theory, anyway. The only improv movie I’ve seen that really worked was Anchorman, and I could go the rest of my life without ever thinking about Anchorman again.
But please leave Leslie Jones alone, you goddamn racists. It sounds like she’s one of the few good reasons to see the movie. With the exception of pretty much every single scene of hers in the trailers, reportedly she’s much more than just a bellowing racial stereotype. (Plus, it’s just a bad idea in general to provoke her. Do you really want her to get louder?)
Oh, and the blonde lady Ghostbuster is a lesbian, and if Sony doesn’t say she’s a lesbian, that’s homophobic.
So just remember: The original Ghostbusters is a garbage movie for manbaby losers. And if you don’t see and enjoy the remake, you hate women!
