DC Trawler

Hillary To Attract Millennial Voters With… Al Gore?

REUTERS/Mike Segar

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Millennials get a bad rap, just because they’re generally awful human beings. But a vote is a vote, so both of the incredibly old people running for president in 2016 are trying to appeal to the young and stupid. Trump is doing it by tweeting lots of moronic garbage all the time, which is known in some quarters as “sh*tposting” and is considered admirable for some reason. Hillary can’t compete in that arena, but hey, at least she’s got the President of the Environment.

Wait, what? Alex Griswold, Mediaite:

During her post-vice presidential debate analysis, MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell revealed that Hillary Clinton would soon call upon former vice president Al Gore to help shore up millennial voters…

“I was told it is not a done deal, that they don’t want to announce it tonight,” Mitchell said, “But they are very close to announcing that Al Gore will be helping Hillary Clinton trying to win over those millennials who have been so reluctant to join forces with the Clinton campaign.”

Yeah, that oughtta do it.

I hope this happens, just so I can enjoy Trump’s tweets about it. Here’s a fake one I just made up:


His actual tweets will be better, by which I mean worse.

BTW, when the rumblings about Al’s triumphant return started a few weeks ago, I finally got around to watching that “ManBearPig” episode of South Park. Every time I mention Al Gore, somebody brings up that cartoon, and I hadn’t ever seen it. I don’t like Al very much, so it was fun to watch him being humiliated, but I didn’t really think it was very funny. (I did laugh when Cartman crapped out all that fake treasure he’d swallowed so he didn’t have to share it with the other awful children, but that was it.) And I Googled the reason Al was always saying “cereal” instead of “seriously,” which still didn’t really make sense, but whatever. I watched it. You can stop telling me I should watch it.

Anyhow, get ready to be scolded, millennials. Obama has already told you how much you’ll disappoint him if you don’t vote for Hillary, and soon Al Gore will be wagging his fat finger in your faces. This election is just terrific. 2016 is the best.