Breathe easy, LGBT Americans. Just because two men engaging in oral sex is the worst thing Stephen Colbert can imagine, that doesn’t mean he hates you.
Stephen Colbert finally — and unapologetically — responded to criticism of his vulgar oral-sex joke about President Trump that led to a #firecolbert hashtag and a call to boycott advertisers of his CBS show…
“While I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be,” he said. “I’m not going to repeat the phrase. But I just want to say, for the record, life is short, and anyone who expresses their love in their own way, is to me an American hero. I think we can all agree on that.”
You see, when Colbert capped off an angry anti-Trump rant by telling the President of the United States that his mouth is good for nothing but being “Putin’s cock-holster,” he wasn’t insulting gay people. They’re heroes! No, Colbert was just expressing his opinion that Donald Trump is so awful, he probably puts another man’s penis in his mouth.
Colbert says he would express his homophobic opinions again on national TV. But next time, he shouldn’t use the crude phrase “cock-holster.” Try something that makes the homophobia a little more nuanced and elegant, like telling his hated enemy that his mouth is a “dong-pocket” or a “choad-holder” or a “shaft-scabbard.” Let’s try to at least keep it civil.
Stephen Colbert has the First Amendment right to express his deep-seated disgust at homosexuality, and CBS has the right to keep him and his homophobia on the air. Please don’t #FireColbert.