We’re inching toward Christmas, and that means it’s time for me to repeat my yearly tradition of eating Culver’s pretty much every single day I’m in Wisconsin.
Last year, I pulled off a daring and risky experiment that few men would have ever had the courage to attempt. I was home in Wisconsin for a little over three weeks and ate at Culver’s over 20 times during that short time period.
The critics and haters told me not to do it. They pointed to what happened to Morgan Spurlock during his “Supersize Me” stunt, but I wasn’t worried. I was born and raised to perform on game day, and there’s no bigger game day for anybody in Wisconsin than when they step through the doors of the Culver’s. That’s when the lights go on and you’re on the big stage. The craziest thing is that I LOST weight during this three week span.
That’s right. I ate a double cheeseburger, large fries and drank a large Mountain Dew nearly every day and sometimes twice a day, and somehow lost weight by the time I returned to Washington D.C. Debate raged across the office and back home how this incredible accomplishment was even possible.
This has led me to where we are today. I’m headed back to Wisconsin pretty soon, and I’m going to attempt to repeat the same experiment. Can I eat at Culver’s over 20 times in a short period of time and lose weight again?
There’s a good chance that my genetics will allow me to repeat this insane feat. My addiction to chugging Mountain Dew is already well known, and it’s only gotten me to being kind of fat. I don’t workout one bit, so I don’t know what else could be saving me at this point other than genetics.
But what if my genes don’t save me? What if I balloon up like a cow in the name of great content? That’s the risk I’m willing to take for the readers, and I’m taking you guys with on every step of the journey this year. Props to me for being willing to sacrifice so much in the name of journalism.
So, come December 19, I will embark on an adventure few people will ever understand and even fewer people will ever attempt. Am I a hero? I don’t know. I’ll let the history books decide that one, but I do know that I’m excited to start crushing burgers again.
