Bill Belichick Just Held The Most Electric Presser Ever

(Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)

Jena Greene Reporter
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As I’m sure many of us know by now, Tom Brady injured his hand (more specifically his throwing thumb) on Wednesday. There’s been tons of incredible speculation about the injury. Did James Harrison do it to secretly sabotage the Pats’ chance at another Super Bowl? Did Bill Belichick plant this story to distract the press? It’s a fantastic time to be a Patriots truther.

So naturally, Bill Belichick got up this morning, pulled on one of his old grey sweatshirts, and got behind the podium to address the situation and quell all the rumors.

Just kidding, he basically repeated the same phrase for 2 minutes straight.

When asked by a reporter,  “Now that Brady is dealing with this injury, looking back on the season, do you have any regrets about trading Jimmy Garoppolo?”

He simply responds, “We’re getting ready for Jacksonville.”

And, “Does it look like Tom will be a game time decision?”

He says, “Today is Friday.”

You’ve got to love Bill Belichick. It doesn’t matter who you root for on game day, he’s a class act. And this is him in his element. The guy was born to hold vague pressers, methodically crush his opponents one by one, and wear cut off sweatshirts in subzero temperatures.

If he didn’t have such an Oscar-worthy poker face, Bill Belichick would be grinning ear to ear and dancing the polka today. This is his destiny.

And to address all the conspiracy theorists out there saying Thumbgate is a Belichick brainchild, I’m all in. There are basically two schools of thoughts here. One is that James Harrison – who was recently traded to the Pats from the Steelers – is a Mike Tomlin plant and has been put in charge of throwing the AFC Championships. The other theory is that Bill Belichick likes to create a media frenzy  (remember that Wickersham article a few weeks ago?) to keep his team hungry with their heads down.

So for all the haters out there saying Belichick looks like an idiot telling reporters what day of the week it is, take a seat and watch the puppet master perform.