Editorial

Professor Rips Tom Brady’s ‘White Masculinity,’ Criticizes The Fact He Goes To The Kentucky Derby

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David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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One professor recently unloaded the hot takes of all hot takes about New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

University of Rhode Island professor Kyle Kusz took aim at Tom Brady’s success in life in his new book, “The Palgrave Handbook of Masculinity and Sport,” and it’s outrageously stupid.

 

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Kusz breaks down the six-time Super Bowl winning quarterback’s “white masculinity” in the chapter “Making American White Men Great Again: Tom Brady, Donald Trump, and the Allure of White Male Omnipotence in Post-Obama America,” according to a report from Campus Reform.

What are the problems with Brady in the eyes of Kusz? Well, he appeared in a 2015 ad for Under Armour that “would not seem out of place in Leni Reifenstahl’s infamous Nazi propaganda film, ‘Triumph Des Willens,’” according to the same Campus Reform report.

It only gets crazier from there. What is an event that Brady enjoys that is proof he has some issues? The Kentucky Derby!

Yes, the fact he attends the famous horse race is, you guessed it, a sign of his “white masculinity.” Kusz wrote in part that the Patriots star “plays in a sport where 67% of the players are African-American,” but the fact he spends time with rich white people at the Derby “tell[s] a more particular story about the racial company he chooses to keep.”

You might think this is parody. I can promise you that it’s very real. He goes on to add the fact he goes to the Derby is a sign he shares “white masculinity” with President Donald Trump, who he is friends with.

Who knew that rich people spend time with other rich people? Somebody should call the local news stations because this is a shocking development that nobody has ever heard of or seen in the history of mankind.

Brady must be at least allowed to eat what he wants without being accused of white masculinity, right? Again, that’s not the case in the eyes of Kusz. His diet and health routines are an example of how “white masculinity is repeatedly constructed.”

You couldn’t make up this kind of nonsense if you tried.

 

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Now, I’m sure at this point, you all think this is an elaborate prank because I have too much time on my hands on this beautiful Friday.

Wrong!

This whole thing is real, and I’m betting Kusz must be a real joy to be around at a party. Do you want to know why Brady is popular?

It’s shockingly simple. Sit down for a second. I don’t want anybody to fall down with the shocking news they’re about to get.

Okay, are we all sitting down and ready for the life changing news about why Brady is popular? Here we go.

It’s because he wins.

That’s right, folks. Tom Brady is popular because he wins. He also doesn’t just win. He wins, stays out of trouble, is a very present father in the lives of his children, does things the right way, works hard, and sets an example for other players and fans.

This is a man that came out of Michigan as a quarterback that nobody really wanted. He was a sixth round afterthought. Now, he’s got six Super Bowl rings. It’s the definition of an all-American story.

 

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This Kusz guy seems like a grade-A clown. There’s no grand conspiracy here, Nazis aren’t marching in the streets, and Tom Brady isn’t popular because of racism.

He’s popular because he just simply wins. If you can’t swallow that pill, then you’re just not living in reality.