The Most Insufferable Millionaires You Know Are Banding Together To Have ‘Compelling Conversations’

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Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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The most annoying and overpaid stooges for the progressive counterintelligence coup are banding together to start a podcast instead of paying their writers a living wage, they announced Tuesday.

Failed actors-turned-late-night-hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers and John Oliver truly believe the world wants to hear what they have to say about the “Hollywood strikes and beyond,” according to People. In a move that will likely prove to be a worse investment than Meghan Markle’s podcast, the five men will be paid by Spotify to talk while the writers for their late night shows go hungry for yet another week.

Apparently these Late Night Losers (which should be the name of their show, instead of “Strike Force Five”) conceived the idea for the podcast right as their writers went on strike, which makes me feel a little ill. All five men are millionaires thanks to the incredible talent of their writers, who clearly won’t be involved in the project because of the ongoing strike.

While I do think the writers and actors strikes are stupid (most of us writers don’t have the privilege of a medium six-figure salary), the fact that these five men don’t realize how disgustingly greedy, self-important and narcissistic this move is just proves how wrong fame is for humanity.

Though they claim the proceeds of their project will go to the out-of-work staff members from their respective shows, I’ll believe it when I see it.

Also, isn’t this group of men a little too white? Where is the diversity their progressive overlords love so much? And don’t tell me Oliver is the diversity hire because he is the original gangster of afternoon tea and twee. He might literally be made out of my late grandmother’s crockery, he’s so white. (RELATED: Cannibalism, Down Syndrome, Dad Jokes: Why Norm MacDonald’s Last Special Is Everything Your Heart Needs)

More than that, I really am wondering who would listen to a show like this, especially when every single successful person in entertainment right now is on the right side of things, or hates the celebrity industry altogether.

Now, if they decide to take (I think Tom Segura and Yannis Pappas) up on their suggestion of getting absolutely blackout drunk and honest about everything, then perhaps Kimmel, Oliver, Colbert, Meyers and definitely Fallon would be fun. Otherwise, this is going to be a cringe-fest.