Apple Just Gave Us The Cringiest Climate Campaign I’ve Ever Seen. And It’s A Huge Lie

Public/Screenshots/YouTube — User: Apple

Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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Apple dropped the most cringe climate campaign in modern history Tuesday, and it’ll make you want to throw away your cell phone.

The latest Apple campaign is filmed like something out of an Armando Iannucci show (“Veep”), with a bunch of dorky-looking tech folks sitting around a table, nervously waiting for someone to appear. Even Apple CEO Tim Cook took part, which only made it more cringe.

The person they were waiting for? Mother Nature, played by Octavia Spencer. And yes, it’s the most egotistical, megalomaniac God-complex content you’ll see all day. Just watch:

“Across these models, we’ve also been innovating in another important direction: towards our industry-leading environmental goals,” some random old white tech dude says before the cringe erupts. His statement literally made me snort-laugh my morning coffee because of how stupid it is.

I honestly thought he was joking. But no, the campaign plays right after his statement.

Apple? An industry leader in environmentalism? I’ll concede Apple is definitely a leader of environmental destruction, but these absolute narcissists are now trying to convince us they’re the good guys? How stupid does this company think their consumers are?

Bless your child-slave-labor-loving hearts, Apple.

If Apple actually wanted to create a good product, they’d create a forever phone and a forever laptop, and make them from the recycled parts of every single Apple Watch. But they don’t do this. They just keep mining raw materials, keep creating pointless plastic products (but don’t worry, the boxes aren’t plastic anymore), and keep polluting our world with the leftovers of their so-called “innovation.” (RELATED: We’re Legitimately Wondering What Kind Of Compromising Material Hillary Clinton Has On Apple CEO Tim Cook)

Aside from my personal bias that I truly believe cellphones are the death of civilization and humanity, Apple really needs to get humble on the fact the materials it uses to create pointless phone after pointless laptop is a major leader in environmental degradation and the normalization of consumerism.

I haven’t noticed a single difference between my iPhone 11 and 13. I threw my Apple Watch away (gave it to some idiot friend who wanted it) because I don’t like that any of y’all can just tap me on the wrist like I’m supposed to respond. I cannot wait for the day I can throw my cell phone away and return to, maybe, a landline. I feel so blessed to have been raised in the 90s, before these stupid devices and companies ruined everything.