Variety asked the question, “who should play John, Paul, George and Ringo in the Beatles movies?” Wednesday, and I have some serious feelings about this.
Director Sam Mendes recently decided that he was important and special enough to make four different films about the best band to walk the face of the Earth: the Beatles, according to Variety. Each movie will be written and filmed from the perspective of each member, and Variety’s ideas on actors for each role are mostly really stupid.
Sam Claflin to play John Lennon? Shut up and go back to school, Variety, you clown show of an entertainment rag. There’s a reason Claflin still isn’t an A-lister after his “Hunger Games” debut, and that’s why he shouldn’t play John Lennon (unless he does play him and does a really good job, in which case I’d apologize).
But Aaron Taylor-Johnson on the other hand? Yes, Variety, we can agree that Aaron probably has what it takes to be Lennon. But the real winner? I mean, it has to be Paul Dano, doesn’t it?
BERLIN, GERMANY – FEBRUARY 21: Paul Dano attends the “Spaceman” premiere during the 74th Berlinale International Film Festival Berlin at Berlinale Palast on February 21, 2024 in Berlin, Germany. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images for Netflix) — KAZUHIRO NOGI/AFP via Getty Images
Next up we have the sheer, unadulterated talent of Mr. Paul McCartney. Arguably one of the most famous men in history, McCartney’s signature good looks have everyone screaming “Jacob Elordi,” but there’s just something missing in this casting for me. (RELATED: Cast And Creator Of ‘The Chosen’ Detail Their Incredible Journey To Becoming The Biggest Show In The World)
Tom Holland on the other hand, now that I understand. I would actually love to see Daniel Radcliffe in the role of McCartney, or even as George Harrison, but apparently Variety thinks he’d be better at playing Ringo Starr (so dumb).
Paul McCartney poses with his girlfriend English actress Jane Asher, in 1968. (Photo by CENTRAL PRESS / AFP) — Harrison, 58, died in Los Angeles after a long battle against cancer, a family friend said November 30, 2001. (Photo by Getty Images) — The Business of Broadway Breakfast presented by City National Bank on October 02, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Steven Ferdman/Getty Images)
We all know that Barry Keoghan has to play Ringo Starr. Variety gets literally zero-points for making this suggestion, because it’s just so blatantly obvious. Not only does he have the vibe, but he has the energy down to an art form. You can just imagine Keoghan with the wig, drumsticks in hand, ready to be the voice of “Thomas the Tank.”
Or, again, Keoghan could easily play Harrison!
(Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images for MBJx DAVID YURMAN) — Beatles Ringo Starr (L) and George Harrison pose with a “Blue Meanie,” a character from their animated musical film “Yellow Submarine” July 8, 1968 — Getty Images
As soon as I file this piece to my editors, I know I’m going to kick myself and think of others who would be better fits for these movies. The biggest thing is that I hope Paul Dano is the only American who would ever be cast in such a potentially important role. All of these roles belong to British actors, unless Dano wants them.
But really, do we need these movies? The Beatles made plenty of their own films, and their music speaks for itself. Sure, it might be fun to see their life stories told from a fresh new perspective, but there’s every chance they leave a pretty nasty taste in the mouths of millions, if not billions of people who were raised on this iconic pop sensation. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.