1.) Write your own Weiner headline, folks — It was a busy Memorial Day weekend for Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY), and for lovers of frankfurter-related puns everywhere. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle briefs(!) us on the growing(!!) scandal that’s been dubbed Weinergate: “The imbroglio started Friday night when Weiner’s official ‘verified’ Twitter account sent a photo of a man’s erect penis underneath gray boxer shorts to a woman in Washington State. Both Weiner and his spokesman, Dave Arnold, have stated that the lewd photograph made it onto the congressman’s Twitter account as result of a hacking of Weiner’s Facebook and Twitter profiles. Weiner’s office told TheDC that they won’t allow this issue to become a distraction and that they are ‘consulting on what steps’ they can take regarding the hacking… Arnold would not specify what steps Weiner is considering. It is unclear whether a Capitol Hill police or FBI investigation into the hacking will ensue. Neither the Capitol Hill police nor the FBI has returned TheDC’s requests for comment.” Identity theft is a crime, and Weiner is a sitting member of Congress who is claiming that someone has broken into his online accounts in order to embarrass and defame him. This goes beyond a harmless prank. Rather than call for an official investigation, though, Dave Arnold says: “We’ve retained counsel to explore the proper next steps and to advise us on what civil or criminal actions should be taken.” Wouldn’t the proper next step be to demand that the authorities investigate this crime and apprehend the culprit? In other words: Why haven’t they called the cops? In any case, the normally publicity-hungry Rep. Weiner certainly isn’t responding to all this attention with his usual relish.
2.) Politico confused by bus tour — You know what’s confusing? Bus tours. Bus tours are confusing. Especially when they’re arranged by people you don’t like! Politico’s Andy Barr writes: “Day 2 of Sarah Palin’s bus tour, and the former vice presidential nominee has prompted little more than confusion over exactly what she is up to. Palin started Memorial Day at the National Archives in Washington after unannounced visits to monuments and other landmarks in the nation’s capital on Sunday afternoon, following a brief ride at the annual Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally. From there, it was to George Washington’s home at Mount Vernon, where reporters following Palin were able only to snap pictures of the former Alaska governor from a distance.” Confusing!
3.) Not All Muslims stone girl to death for participating in beauty contest — Time for another round of Spot the Cultural Differences. The Daily Mail reports: “A teenage Muslim girl was stoned to death under ‘Sharia law’ after taking part in a beauty contest in Ukraine. Katya Koren, 19, was found dead in a village in the Crimea region near her home. Friends said she liked wearing fashionable clothes and had come seventh in a beauty contest… Police have opened a murder investigation and are looking into claims that three Muslim youths killed her, claiming her death was justified under Islam. One of the three – named as 16-year-old Bihal Gaziev – is under arrest and told police that Katya had ‘violated the laws of Sharia’. Gaziev has said he has no regrets about her death.” But hey, just look at all the Muslim girls who HAVEN’T been stoned to death for living in the 21st Century.
4.) Electric cars as popular as ever — Just because nobody wants to buy electric cars doesn’t mean we should stop making them, right? TheDC’s Amanda Carey reports: “American Values President Gary Bauer and former Commandant of the Marine Corps General James T. Conway are teaming up in support of electric vehicles. Bauer and Conway are part of the Energy Security Leadership Council (ESLC), a group of business and military leaders put together by Securing America’s Future Energy (SAFE). SAFE is focused on reducing America’s dependence on foreign oil and finding an energy alternative… With pages of statistics and a realistic take on America’s dependence on oil, members of the ESLC lobby elected officials for an effective alternative energy policy.” Electricity is an “alternative energy,” apparently. Say, where does our electricity come from? Does Ben Franklin pull it down from the sky with a key on a kite? Or does it come out of the wall socket by way of magic? That’s probably it, magic.
5.) Westboro meets its match — People love it when loathsome ghouls battle each other: Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. Alien vs. Predator. And now, as CNN reports: “Protesting members of the controversial Westboro Baptist Church were met with an unlikely group of counter-protesters Monday at Arlington Cemetery. Hours before President Barack Obama led the nation’s Memorial Day observances at the Tomb of the Unknowns, three members of the Westboro Baptist Church were challenged by others who disagreed with them — including members claiming to be from the Ku Klux Klan.” This calls for a fight to the death. Burning crosses at 20 paces?
6.) Snooki è una vergogna imbarazzante — The pride of Italian-Americans everywhere is bringing her special brand of uselessness to the home of her ancestors. According to TheDC’s Laura Donovan: “TMZ is reporting that ‘Jersey Shore’ reality television star Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was taken into custody in Florence, Italy on Monday after plowing into a cop car. According to TMZ, ‘zero alcohol was involved.’ A witness told the celebrity news website that fellow ‘Jersey Shore’ cast member Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley was with Snooki at the time of the accident and had to escape through the window.” Four score and seven years ago, nobody had TV. Can we please go back to that now?
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