This year’s Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off Thursday at the Wardham Marriott in Washington, D.C. Like every year, it was packed full of the conservative movement’s most celebrated figures, from the smart to the off-the-charts nutty.
More than once I have heard CPAC compared to Comic-Con, only less cool. But that’s unfair. It is like Comic-Con, but maybe marginally cooler. Note maybe and marginally. (RELATED: Full coverage of CPAC)
What follows are the top 10 most awesome sights and sounds from CPAC’s first two days.
10.) All Reagan, all the time — The Gipper left the Oval office 23 years ago, began his journey into the “sunset” of his life almost 18 years ago and departed this mortal coil nearly 8 years ago, yet at CPAC he remains omnipresent. And he will likely remain so until a conservative leader arises to supplant him as the shining symbol of the cause. Looking at the current Republican presidential field, it doesn’t look like that will be happening anytime in the near future.
9.) Palin’s pony — Sarah Palin’s fame has faded since the golden days of the 2008 presidential campaign and though she is closing this year’s CPAC, she just doesn’t quite have the same name cache as she once did. But if you still have a burning desire to see a picture of the former Alaska governor on horseback, you better believe the opportunity still damn well exists at CPAC.
8.) Fashion forward — Outside of Milan, there is no bigger hub for fashion forward dress than CPAC. Pimply high-schoolers to mal-adjusted college students prance around in their finest threads. And by finest threads, I mean lots of fedoras and a striking number of Tom Wolfe wannabes in white suits — two, possibly three sizes too big.
7.) Boring Speakers and Panels –There are good and noble aspects of CPAC, but it is hard to describe just how boring many of the speakers and panels tend to be. Even more than the federal budget, the conference could be trimmed — perhaps to just potential presidential contenders and Ann Coulter, who remains the most entertaining speaker at CPAC.
6.) Conservative Dating Panel — A panel at CPAC entitled “Conservative Dating” was described thusly: “TheTeaParty.net Red Carpet Event. Learn everything from how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart in the first five minutes of the conversation, to whether Tea Partiers and Occupiers can share something more than a dislike for bailouts.” Unfortunately I wasn’t able to attend, but even if I did, I am confident I couldn’t add anything to the event’s description.
5.) D-list Hollywood celebrities — If changing the culture is important and Chuck Woolery and Kirk Cameron are the best Hollywood stars the conservative side can offer up to help change the culture, things won’t be changing for awhile. Now I know there are more impressive conservatives in Hollywood. But these are the big Hollywood names that came to CPAC. Cameron was a celebrity two decades ago and it is still an open question whether the host of “Wheel of Fortune” can ever be considered a celebrity.
4.) Santorum Sweater vests — If there is one thing the American public can agree on — left or right — it is that Rick Santorum’s sweater vests are pretty darn awesome. Fortunately for CPACers, they’re in ample supply at the conference. You might say CPAC is at the end of a rainbow, if you are the type of person who makes no distinction between a treasure chest full of gold and cardboard box full of Rick Santorum 2012 sweater vests. For only a $50 donation to the Santorum campaign, you too could be a proud wearer of a vest.
3.) Awesome! Booths — In the basement of the Wardham Marriott hotel one can find a potpourri of booths pushing various causes. Some have fun interactive features, like the NRA’s, which provides attendees the opportunity to test their shooting skills electronically. Other booths promote fringe causes, like nullification. Many of them feature people dressed in bizarre outfits.
2.) Gingrich’s conservative dream team — At the end of his address to CPAC, Newt Gingrich unveiled his conservative dream team. Among its members: Rick Perry, Todd Palin and Chuck Norris. Need I go on? This is not only the greatest assemblage of public figures this campaign season, but in all of American political history. Unfortunately, Todd Palin must have been absent the day the dream team photo was taken.
1). George Washington holding an M16 — CPAC wouldn’t be CPAC without grown men dressing up like historical figures. It’s just what some guys like to do. But it isn’t everyday you run into someone dressed up like George Washington holding an M16. That’s what happens when you hang around the U.S. Naval Institute booth at CPAC.
Not to be outdone, here’s William Temple as a British Redcoat:
