Here’s some solid, universally-applicable advice: Never have sex with a dog. If for some depraved reason you do have sex with a dog, don’t make a video of it on your cell phone.

If you can’t abide by either of these rules, then — for the love of God — do not let your girlfriend trawl through the images and videos on your cell phone.

Wayne Bryson, from an English town called Louth, is in trouble because he followed exactly none of this sage advice, reports Britain’s Daily Mirror.

Bryson’s unidentified girlfriend was sickened when she found footage of Bryson in flagrante delicto with her dog—a Staffordshire bull terrier. Court documents describe the intercourse as full.

It’s not clear when the bestial crime actually occurred. However, Bryson was busted because his girlfriend was recently perusing pictures and videos still saved on an old phone of his. She took the phone to police when she discovered the incriminating recording.

Bryson admitted to the canine sexual activity. Specifically, explains the Grimsby Telegraph, he pleaded guilty to performing an act of sexual penetration with the dog.

He also admitted to possessing some marijuana which, he said, was for his own personal use.

The English lad told police that he had no explanation for his behavior. On the bright side, he swore it happened just the one time.

Bryson has posted bail and will remain free until he is sentenced on March 5. One condition of his bail is that he can’t be alone with any animals.

In Britain, or at least in Louth, carnal activity with a canine is punishable by a prison term of up to two years.

Bryson can at least take solace in the fact that he is not the only person to ever be charged with having sex with a dog.

Last month, 22-year old Joshua Webicki of Palm Bay, Fla. was caught having sex with the family dog by a surveillance system put in by his own family. According to a police report, his family “had noticed the German shepherd mix showing signs of physical injury and was fearful when approached by family members, so they installed a video system.” Upon review of the tapes, the family found Webicki performing sex acts on the dog. (RELATED: Pizza delivery boy screws the pooch)

Last year, a grand jury indicted Stephanie Mikles, a behavioral specialist with the Harford County (Maryland) Schools who worked mainly with special needs children, was charged with having “sexual intercourse with a dog.” The shocking evidence against Mikles, 45, included still photos. (RELATED: Cops say they have photos of Maryland teacher doing it with family dog)

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