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BOLD QUOTE OF THE DAY: “It would be nice to see a man have his way with Putin and then we can livestream it on Yahoo.” — E!’s Chelsea Handler on the newly divorced Russian Prez Vladmir Putin.

My First Tweet 

“Holding Alice while she watches Sesame Street and waits patiently for an appearance by Elmo.” — CNN’s Jake Tapper’s very first tweet. We’re going to go ahead and assume Alice is a person and not a pet or stuffed animal.

Al Roker’s troubled rotator cuff gives him day off 

“Rotator cuff repair this am. Thanks to Dr. Riley Williams and his team, back to pitching middle relief for the Yankees before you know it.” — Roker on Wednesday morning at 7:11 a.m. Savannah Guthrie, stuck with Matt Lauer, remarked, “Missing you, @alroker – feel better and hurry back!”

More “Morning Joe” weirdnesses 

“OMG how many different cellphone sounds can we get in one hour of Morning Joe?” — Politico‘s Tal Kopan.

 

A fun vaccine q for Jenny McCarthy

“Wanna go get fucked up on some vaccines?” — The Daily Beast‘s Olivia Nuzzi to Washington Monthly‘s Sam Knight and ABC “The View’s” Jenny McCarthy, who is anti-vaccine. 

The Observer

“Girls on this school bus are mainly reading, drawing or talking quietly. Boys are screaming, punching and pretending to shoot stuff. Oy.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

Journo tries to round up the troops 

“George Will: LEAVE JEB BUSH ALONE!” — Soon-to-be-Breitbart NewsCharlie Spiering in response to a column by Will in the Washington Post on the mostly positive and realistic look at Jeb Bush potentially running for President. It’s unclear why Spiering is upset by Will’s story.

The glass is half full

“Twitter: Always at its best when there’s some sort of tragedy.” — Washington Free Beacon‘s Sonny Bunch.

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Two white balding political guys who make you yawn your face off 

“Had a wonderful conversation last week at @JFKJrForum w/@wef founder Klaus Schwab on our era of epic econ transitions.” — CNN’s David Gergen.

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