DC Trawler

Twitter Creates Safe Space For Those With Approved Opinions

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Hey there, Twitter addicts! Do you like your freedom of expression? Sure you do. How about speaking truth to power? It’s the best. Isn’t it great to have your dialogue empowered by such amazing technology?

But hold on… Are you safe?

More to the point: If you’re a teabagger, a white male, and/or some other undesirable, are the people who disagree with you safe?

Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter:

Of course it does, Jack! How can we be safe if everybody can just say whatever they want?

From the official Twitter blog:

On Twitter, every voice has the power to shape the world. We see this power every day, from activists who use Twitter to mobilize citizens to content creators who use Twitter to shape opinion.

To ensure people can continue to express themselves freely and safely on Twitter, we must provide more tools and policies. With hundreds of millions of Tweets sent per day, the volume of content on Twitter is massive, which makes it extraordinarily complex to strike the right balance between fighting abuse and speaking truth to power…

That’s why we are announcing the formation of the Twitter Trust & Safety Council, a new and foundational part of our strategy to ensure that people feel safe expressing themselves on Twitter.

That sounds great! Who doesn’t want trust? Who doesn’t crave safety? Who wouldn’t want a council that ensures both?

You can find out more about the Ministry of Truth Trust & Safety Council here. It’s made up of a bunch of leftist groups, social justice warriors, the usual. Because of course it is.

Here’s the Council’s mission statement:

When it comes to safety, everyone plays a role

Twitter empowers every voice to shape the world. But you can’t do that unless you feel safe and confident enough to express yourself freely and connect with the world around you. To help give your voice more power, Twitter does not tolerate behavior intended to harass, intimidate, or use fear to silence another user’s voice.

Who will decide which voices shape the world?
The Trust & Safety Council.

Who will decide which users genuinely feel unsafe, and what that should mean for everyone else?
The Trust & Safety Council.

Who will decide which speech is intended to harass, intimidate, or frighten, and which speech isn’t?
The Trust & Safety Council.

What should the rest of us do?
All hail the Trust & Safety Council.

The people who run Twitter can do as they please, of course. If they want to institute their own Thought Police, they can do that. And Twitter users can say whatever they want about it, at least until they get banned.

I feel safer already!

Twitter stock has been plummeting, so now is a good time to buy. It’s sure to shoot back up, now that a golden new era of safety and trust has dawned.