The South Back In Sessions

REUTERS/Mike Segar

Ron Hart Ron Hart is a libertarian humorist and author who can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com.
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Crawling out of their safe spaces after the election, the media are now advancing the narrative that Trump is running behind in his cabinet selection process and that tumult reigns. Never mind that he is ahead of where Obama was at this stage of the game. Facts no longer have a place in modern mainstream reporting.

Obama went about assembling his cabinet like it was from Ikea. He wanted to focus on the complexity and diversity of the source of the parts, not the quality and durability of the product. And that “product” performed like a $17 Ikea bedside cabinet.

Trump’s first pick, Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions from the great state of Alabama for Attorney General, is a good one. Being a citizen of the South and having named my son “Jeb,” I like scaring Northerners with names like “Jefferson” and “Beauregard” — it keeps them on their toes. After eight years of Northern elitist rule, this will be fun. They won’t know if Jefferson Beauregard Sessions will first try to attack ISIS or mount an offensive to reclaim Richmond.

The South is proudly behind Trump and staunchly American. Go to any SEC football game and you will see our patriotism. We do not Kaepernick-kneel for the National Anthem or “Dixie” unless we drop our bourbon flask.

According to Fox’s Greg Gutfeld, the first thing Trump and Sessions need to do is to pardon Billy Bush. Nancy O’Dell, from ET, still has her job. Yet Billy Bush is now having to anchor Access Dollywood. Billy is a great guy done wrong. I’d give him a cabinet position; maybe not heading the NSA, but running the Secret Service should be Billy’s for the asking.

Trump could have confused the left by putting Caitlyn Jenner on his transition team, given her recent experience. Again, keep them guessing.  Caitlyn was the toast of Hollywood, until she/he came out — as a Republican.

Sessions’ anti-illegal immigration stance was where he has bonded with Trump. But as we stop illegal immigration (the operative word “illegal” gets conveniently lost in the media; they just say “immigration” — another misleading part of their narrative), we will reduce inflow. And some “celebs” like Miley Cyrus might leave our country, so it’s a win/win. Trump is already making America Great.

Miley Cyrus, the dopey daughter of country music one-hit-wonder Billy Ray Cyrus, continues to hurt his achy breaky heart. She can seem all right for a while, but then she goes off script and acts like a maudlin, out-of-touch brat. This puts Billy Ray in a strong position to be appointed to head the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, since he can threaten to have more kids if his demands are not met.

My guess is that none of the “stars” who said they would leave the country will. Even George Clooney is not going to flee.  But he felt he had to do something symbolic and courageous, so he moved his office down the hall. Yes, celebs are mad, but not smart enough to learn the metric system. And it’s a lot of effort on the part of their personal assistants to explain to them just what making 15 million Euros per movie means.

Hollywood bears some responsibility for Trump’s rise. He was given “Celebrity Apprentice,” which elevated his national exposure. They could have kept him at bay by giving him an occasional Emmy. The left tried so hard to find Trump saying something racist or associating with one. The closest all-white racist group they have him talking to on film was when he once addressed the Academy Awards members. In fact, Trump’s cabinet is going to be so white it could win an Oscar.

Even Bill Clinton encouraged Trump to run. Now his apology to Hillary might go a little like this: “Honey, egging Trump to run was the worst thing I have done to you… well, you know, since…”

As a subset of upholding immigration and other laws of our nation, Sessions will also have to deal with defiant liberal mayors like New York’s Bill de Blasio and Chicago’s Rahm Emanuel on their sanctuary cities policies. They refuse to obey federal immigration laws, encouraging refugees to come to their cities. In dramatic, grandstanding statements this week, Mayors de Blasio and Emanuel told illegal immigrants that they would be safe in their cities. Syrian refugees looked at Chicago murder stats and said, “We like our odds better here in Aleppo.”

A syndicated op-ed humorist, award winning author and TV/radio commentator, you can reach him at Ron@RonaldHart.com, Twitter @RonaldHart or visit RonaldHart.com