Sports

Skateboarding And Break Dancing Get Closer To Becoming Olympic Sports

(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief

The Olympics have moved closer to adding some very stupid sports.

The International Olympic Committee’s executive board recommended that break dancing, skateboarding, surfing and climbing all be part of the 2024 games in Paris Wednesday.

Surfing? That’s fine with me, especially if we get some smokes involved. Anything that involves good-looking women is something I’m down to add. No question about it.

The other three are insanely stupid. Climbing? Is that a joke? Break dancing? This is the Olympics we’re talking about. It’s not some club. (RELATED: Break Dancing Is Being Proposed As A New Olympic Sport)

Skateboarding is all right, I guess. I just don’t understand why we have to include it.

The dumbest of all of these is obviously break dancing. We invaded Europe to free France from the Nazis. We might have to invade again just to make sure dancing is never part of the Olympics.

That’s a battle I think most people would be willing to take up arms for.

We’re lost as a society the moment we put break dancing on the same level as basketball, soccer or even swimming. I can’t believe I just had to defend the honor of soccer, but dire times call for dire measures.

The Olympics should be focused on sports that actually matter. It shouldn’t be about how well you can dance. I can’t believe we’re even in this situation.

You know things have gone horribly wrong when I’m all of a sudden the adult in the room. Hopefully, cooler heads will prevail and all of these (other than hot women surfing) will be immediately struck down. We just can’t tolerate it.

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