NFL Legend Pat McAfee Says He Won’t Storm Area 51

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David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
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NFL legend Pat McAfee won’t be among those trying to storm Area 51.

The event to storm the secret military base has gone viral, and over a million people have claimed they’ll try to overtake the base. As anybody with a brain knows, anybody dumb enough to try will likely die. McAfee appreciates the passion, but he doesn’t want to get gunned down in a blaze of glory. (SLIDESHOW: These Are The Hottest Women On Instagram)

“I appreciate your service. I wanna let you hipsters know I appreciate your service and I wish I could join you, but I got an island I would like to buy in a few years. I can’t be dying right now,” McAfee said Tuesday when discussing the viral event.

This is a smart call from McAfee, and I’m right there with him when it comes to sitting this one out. A bunch of overweight losers online have no chance against a string of B2 bombers, F-22s and Apaches owning the sky.

The entire “invasion” of Area 51 would be over in minutes. Once the first line of people get their bodies sawed in half from machine gun fire, I’m going to go ahead and guess most other people will immediately retreat.

With the former Colts punter being one of the funniest guys on the internet, we damn sure can’t afford to lose him to this dumb stunt.

We just can’t. He’s likely got a very long career ahead of him, and should be protected at all costs. Let the other idiots get hit by nonstop sorties.

It’s going to get ugly.

I can’t wait to see if anybody is going to be dumb enough to try this. I really can’t. It’s going to be some awesome free entertainment.