Ladies and gentlemen, I’m glad to announce that my date with death didn’t arrive this weekend.
Early Saturday morning, I went to urgent care because my right rib cage felt like it was on fire, and I had pain all over the place. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)
Despite the fact you all probably think I’m an invincible robot, that’s not always the case. Unfortunately, upon arriving at urgent care, I was immediately told to get to the emergency room.
After hours and hours of testing and medical care from an all-star staff (shoutout to the nurse who told me I had incredible veins), I left the hospital late Saturday.
I’m not going to lie, given my life choices, poor eating habits that spanned years, rampant alcohol consumption in my younger days and a variety of other reasons, I thought I was about to meet the grim reaper.
I’ve ridden this wave we call life at a fast pace, and at some point, we all got to go. Then I remembered all the people depending on me.
I remembered all the people out there who never got the chance to do what I do. I remembered the guys on D-Day who didn’t just throw in the towel.
What message would I be sending by dying? How many people would I be letting down? How much food would be taken off of the table?
Besides, as I told somebody, I can’t die before Wisconsin wins a national title. Turns out comments like that aren’t really appreciated in the ER, but I stand by my point.
It’s in our darkest moments when we truly find out who we are. I could have rolled over and died right there on the spot.
Most men would have. Most men would have probably asked to just get put down given how much pain I was in.
In what might be a modern day miracle, I walked out of the hospital under my own power after preparing to have a drink with the grim reaper earlier in the day.
I hate to disappoint the haters, losers and critics who were cheering for my death. To quote the great Arya Stark, not today.
Am I a hero for living through a situation that would bring most men to their knees? I’ll let the history books decide that one.
I’m too busy building an empire to think about death.