Editorial

DAILY CALLER INVESTIGATES: Why Is CNN’s Brian Stelter Suddenly Trump Colored?

(Photo by David Becker/Getty Images) / (Screenshot/Twitter/Greg_Price11)

Kay Smythe Commentary Writer
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CNN’s Brian Stelter took the stage at the University of Chicago’s “Disinformation and the Erosion of Democracy” conference Wednesday with a fresh new vibe.

Stelter’s sudden evolution from classic “White Man in a Suit” to tangerine has raised a few questions after the dramatic change in his physical appearance at University of Chicago on Wednesday. Here’s a side-by-side comparison of Stelter’s skin tone development:

While most will criticize Stelter for coating his body in a synthetic caramel glow, I am here to defend his decision to indulge in some self-love and self-tanning. Here’s the full clip that reveals Stelter’s decision to go darker.

Perhaps Stelter isn’t feeling his best self right now. As all Millennial women know, there are three quick fixes to a bad day: skin, hair, and nails.

When you’re feeling stressed, going through a bad break-up, or just stuck in a rut, getting a new hairdo is one of the easiest ways to scare away the sads. Unfortunately, a new hairstyle really isn’t an option for Stelter.

Stelter could have channeled his inner Young Turk Hasan Piker and gotten his nails “did” (as the cool kids are saying). Piker went for a bleak black coat, which feels a bit early-2000s emo. I highly recommend Stelter choose a matte pink or baby blue, maybe even a glitter if he really needs an extra pick-me-up.

 

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A post shared by Hasan Piker (@hasandpiker)

A new coat of color would obviously play incredibly well for Stelter’s progressive audience. Men started painting their nails more frequently in 2015 to show support for Caitlyn Jenner, and the trend had stuck hard with the wokesters of America. (RELATED: Man Attends City Council Meeting In Women’s Swimsuit, Claims To Be Trans)

Instead, Stelter appears to be living out his inner “Situation” by going full Jersey Shore with some fabulous fake tan. Social science research suggests that utilizing indoor and other forms of fake tan have a number of perceived psychological benefits, such as boosting self-esteem.

However, tanning can become addictive, according to a study published by Penn State University. “repeated use of [fake tanning substances] causes symptoms of increased tolerance, craving, and withdrawal,” the study noted.

Be careful Brian. The last thing CNN needs is another scandal. Don’t become addicted!

*all of the above is based on poorly-researched theory; have a fun weekend Patriots! Get your glow on!