In Defense Of The Golf Thot

Screenshots/YouTube/Paige Spiranac

Scoops Delacroix Freelance Writer
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A lot of allegations are being thrown around about “golf thots,” and they’re entirely unfair.

For those unfamiliar, “golf” is an acronym for “gentlemen only, ladies forbidden,” while “thot” is an acronym for “that hoe over there.” Golf is also the sport of kings, legalized by James IV of Scotland in 1502, and in many cases, women were forbidden from playing. American war hero Condoleeza Rice only integrated Augusta National in 2012. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

While we at the Daily Caller hold all due respect for Mrs. Rice, she can’t hold a candle to some of these ladies who currently grace our Instagram feeds. Paige Spiranac is the most prominent example, but several other lovely ladies appear to be making names for themselves. And it’s not due to their 300 yard drives or bulls-eye putts.

Paige Spiranac on Make a GIF

The haters and losers, of which there are many, say these women don’t truly care about the game. They say girls like Paige capitalize on the depravity of the modern man for financial gain, and contribute to the degradation of traditional values. We say nay. In fact, a true ally might argue that it’s misogynistic to say that hot girls can’t golf too.

No, the golf thot is celebrated because she is a sight to behold in her visor and skirt. The golf thot is celebrated because John Daly no longer has the biggest bra size on the course. The golf thot is celebrated because she gives old men an excuse for heart palpitations on the course that have nothing to do with the fast food they snuck while avoiding the glare of their cholesterol doctors.

John daly page tie GIF - Find on GIFER

And so what if they exploit men’s urges to make a buck? That’s the oldest job in existence. In fact, it already existed in golf before the emergence of the golf thot — we all try to put a little extra torque in our drive when the cart girl whizzes by. (RELATED: Matt Barnes Is Wrong — Only Men Can Save Women’s Sports)

Because in our hearts, isn’t that what all men really want? A hot wife who can grip it and rip it? If that’s good enough for Ron DeSantis, that’s good enough for you.