Team USA’s performance at the Ryder Cup this weekend proves once and for all how far America has fallen since crushing the Axis powers in WWII.
In my time covering sports, I have witnessed some appalling performances from U.S. athletes, including Megan Rapinoe‘s air ball PK that reportedly clocked some Swedish fans sitting in the nose bleeds and Team USA’s disastrous loss to Germany at the FIBA World Cup. But Europe’s top golfers blowing America’s right out of the water in Rome is a new nadir for the red, white and blue, a team whose last Ryder win on foreign soil came all the way back in 1993.
Despite a star-studded lineup that came into the event as betting favorites, the Americans were blasted harder than a Scoops sand wedge through the beach by a score of 16.5-11.5. After a 6.5-1.5 opening day, Old Glory stood no chance.
Tron had his research team working early this morning to track the commercial load. Ryder Cup Friday recap Live Show is up on YouTube and in your podcast feed. Presented by @highnoonsunsips
YouTube: https://t.co/eNl5YfMWha
Spotify: https://t.co/zj17wproFG pic.twitter.com/ipyUrsa2ws— No Laying Up (@NoLayingUp) September 30, 2023
Although golf originated in Scotland, Americans perfected the game and gave the world some of the greatest players to ever grace the links: Bobby Jones, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, John Daly, and his son, Little John, to name a few. Who do we have now? Some Saudi money whores, a washed-out frat star turned mortgage salesman who gifted his enemy an easy tap in putt, and a formerly halfway decent golfer who’s had one of the worst PGA seasons in living memory.
America deserves better.
The “Boys of Pointe du Huc,” the Greatest Generation who stormed the beaches of Normandy, raised the flag on Iwo Jima and brought Mussolini to his knees in Anzio, did not risk their lives only for Team USA to field Patrick Cantlay (who should be deported for apparently being upset he wasn’t paid to play in the event) and Brooks Koepka at the Ryder Cup. They sacrificed for a glorious nation, not the team of raggamuffins who looked more like the drunk foursome on a Maryland muni than world-champion ball strikers.
Piffling politicians want to build infrastructure, reduce the national debt and defend Ukraine. How about we start with the greatest game ever played and its core fundamentals — the drive, the chip, the putt? To save America, let’s Make American Golf Great Again before unf*cking everything else.
In honor of Michael Ginsberg, 2020-2023. A friend to Scoops. May your drives be bombs, your three-putts limited, and your cigs forever dirty. Requiescat in pace.