The first official trailer for the “Mean Girls” musical dropped Wednesday, so obviously we’re living in the worst timeline.
No one wanted a reboot of the cult-classic Lindsay Lohan film “Mean Girls,” and it doesn’t even go here … except, it is here. And it proves us 90s babies who grew up with this iconic piece of cinema are officially old. Old enough to remember that the film which shaped our tween years and adolescence is now being redesigned for a younger, dumber, fuglier, audience who doesn’t even know Glen Coco. (You go, Glen Coco!)
This brand new film looks like a 4K remake of the original, only this time there will be … singing. So, if you thought this situation was bad … just know it’s a lot, lot worse. By the end of this article, you’ll have all been victimized by Regina George. And Tina Fey. And whoever at Paramount was clearly kept at work all night trying to come up with a new film idea, when they really weren’t allowed to be kept past four.
Get in loser, we’re going to the movies. 💖 Watch the new trailer for #MeanGirls – only in theatres January 12. #OnWednesdaysWeWearPink pic.twitter.com/Kkqt4fXqLF
— Mean Girls (@MeanGirls) November 8, 2023
From start-to-finish, the trailer introduces us to all the same characters we know and love. We get to see all of our favorite moments from the original film. Except all of these are played by a bunch of Gen Zers, and a somehow younger-looking Tina Fey. And Busy Philips is in the role originally held by Amy Poehler. You know, the “cool mom.”
But the part of this whole thing that makes me so mad I can’t even stand it … these losers are trying to make FETCH HAPPEN! It’s not going to happen. And I bet Karen doesn’t even ask people why they’re white.
And so help me God, if this 2024 Karen’s breasts can’t tell when it’s raining, and if she ain’t wearing pink today … Ugh! (RELATED: ‘Entourage’ Star Really Wants A Reboot, But Would It Work In 2023?)
But in all fairness, I am totally going to go and see this movie. I’m just channeling my inner Mean Girl and letting it all out in this — my professional burn book. The script sounds utterly hilarious.
Let me know in the comments if you can get all the “Mean Girls” quotes I got into this article. I worked really hard on it.