Contestants At First Annual ‘Florida Man Games’ Race To ‘Eat The Butt’ And Steal Catalytic Converters

Screenshot/YouTube/ KENS 5: Your San Antonio News Source

Robert McGreevy Contributor
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Residents of America’s weirdest state turned an online joke into a hilarious reality.

Floridians staged the first annual “Florida Man Games” on Saturday, a robust competition that included classic Floridian events like evading Sheriff’s deputies and stealing catalytic converters, according to the event’s website.

The event touted such contests as the “evading arrest obstacle course,” in which participants must “jump over fences, through back yards, and away from actual police officers to earn your freedom!”

The St. Augustine-held event was the brainchild of organizer Pete Melfi, according to The Associated Press (AP), who told the outlet he expected to sell over 5,000 tickets.

Ripping his events straight from the most Florida of headlines, Melfi also crafted a race against time in which contestants must try to steal a “a catalytic converter, two bikes, and a handful of copper pipes.”

The competition kicked off with the “eat the butt contest,” where contestants raced to finish a plate of pork butt. (RELATED: Florida Man With Florida Tattooed On His Forehead Arrested For Calling 911 For A Ride Home)

The AP caught up with the winner of the event, James Gordon, who had one of the greatest quotes I’ve ever heard.

“I’ve lived in Florida my whole life,” Gordon told The AP, washing sauce from his beard according to the outlet. “They’re calling these ‘events.’ I’m calling this shit Tuesday afternoon,” the legend concluded.

The event also included a mullet contest, a pool noodle battle and a sumo competition in which Florida’s best and brightest try to get their opponent to spill their beer.

Move over X-Games. The most exciting show on Earth is officially this event. It’s almost too beautiful to comprehend. With over 5,000 expected ticket sales I’d say the event was a smashing success. I can’t wait to see how they top it next year.