A liberal outlet mocked Republican Sen. Rand Paul after he was brutally attacked, telling the senator Monday that he should have drunk more milk.
A Splinter writer argued that the type of injuries Paul suffered, compared to how small his attacker was, means that Paul has weak bones and a need for more calcium.
“You get old and stop drinking milk and next thing you know every time a medium sized neighbor tackles you all your ribs are snapping like the buttons on tearaway pants,” Hamilton Nolan, a senior writer at the outlet, wrote Monday. “Meanwhile if you had stayed on your milk game, you would have not only had brawny bones but muscles as well—thanks to the protein packed into every serving of milk.”
Rand, from Kentucky, suffered five broken ribs after an attack at his home by his neighbor Rene Boucher, a 59-year-old retired anesthesiologist. Boucher, a socialist, has sworn the attack had nothing to do with politics, according to his lawyer. He currently faces charges for fourth degree assault.
The Splinter writer, however, suggested Paul try milk in chocolate or strawberry, telling him not to stop until he was “dead.”
“The important thing is you keep downing glass after glass of that frosty creamy calcium treat,” Nolan wrote “Don’t stop until you’re dead. Drink that milk Rand Paul. This is not a game out here.”
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