Help Kay! I Met My Boyfriend’s Parents And There Was A MAGA Hat In The Living Room

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Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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Dear Kay: I met my boyfriend’s parents at their beautiful home this past weekend. Everything went great until I walked into the living room and found a MAGA hat just lying there on the arm of the couch. I assumed it was his dad’s, but maybe it’s his mom’s?! Help! — Sincerely, Build Back Better Baby. 

Dear BBB Baby,

Interpersonal conflict is par for the course when it comes to families, particularly with in-laws. Thankfully, there are a million ways you can avoid having your personal political ideologies become a major crisis for your boyfriend’s parents, and it all starts with you deciding to not be a twat about it.

Try asking your in-laws about their political ideologies to see if you have any common ground. MAGA and Build Back Better voters actually have way more in common than they realize. For example, you all eat food, breathe air, need shelter, and have placed your faith in a macro-political system designed to feed off your hard-earned money and control you as they divide you from an ideological standpoint. Stuff like that, ya know?

Of course, there are differences too. For example, people who support the MAGA movement are a little bit worried about the general direction of the country and the overarching influence of unelected foreign individuals on our legislative and financial systems. Liberals like vegan food. My point is, everyone has their quirks.

You’re in their home, eating their food, potentially sleeping with their son; perhaps it’s time to demonstrate some tolerance (gasp!) and understanding of opinions from people who have welcomed you into their lives. I’m sure you’d be able to learn a lot from listening to how and why your in-laws came to be in possession of their headwear. Their experiences could even help you prepare for the dystopian hellscape mega-rich global elites have planned for us … that’s if our scientists don’t bring about a taxpayer-funded apocalypse first.

More than that, if anyone invites you into their home, it is your job to respect them. One of my personal golden rules is that I never disrespect someone in their own home. Even if you think your in-laws are wacky after you hear them out, you should have been raised well enough to not insult, mock, or hurt their feelings because you disagree with them on this one small part of their personality.

If all else fails, just remember that your government doesn’t care about you, and literally no one cares about your political ideology either. I’m old enough to remember when our personalities and relationships weren’t defined by our political ideologies. What a beautiful time it was. It might be hard to fathom that we once lived with a general disdain for the people we elect our leaders, but I promise you, we did.

Politicians aren’t celebrities, no matter how hard the likes of Stacey Abrams try to prove otherwise. They don’t know you. They’ll never know your name. They’ll never break bread with you, take care of your children, help you if your partner is hurt, spend the holidays with you, or ask for your help with a family project. Your in-laws will, but only if you’re not a twat to them about being a MAGA fam. (RELATED: Dear Kay: Should I Go To My Planned Gay Orgy This Weekend?)

Politicians will never be as important as family, so if you’re unable to put your family first after learning that they like Trump, I think you might be the problem here.