Roger Stone: The beauty of the indispensable black knitted tie

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There are a few things a true gentleman cannot live without. The black silk knitted square-bottom tie is just such an indispensable item. No true gentlemen would be without one. They can be twisted, pulled, knotted and will perform for decades if not forever. Such a tie has saved my life on numerous occasions.

ITEM: You are wearing jeans and a blazer. It’s Friday but you are called into a meeting with the boss. VoilĂ ! The black knit tie dresses up your outfit, moving you from Friday slob to the Euro look. Note – you can’t pull this off if you are stupid enough to be wearing a t-shirt in the office.

ITEM: You are dashing across an airport to catch the last flight from La Guardia to Miami. The latch on your suitcase breaks threatening to spill your finery and toiletries all over the ground. You whip off your indestructible black knit tie , lash the case closed with it and make the flight.

ITEM: You are driving your Alfa Romeo Spyder through the Swiss Alps when you run out of petrol. A passerby in a Citroen van offers you a tow but lacks a line. Off comes the tie which you lash bumper to bumper. Problem solved

ITEM: You are in an Italian joint in the Bronx. A guido makes a slur against your mother. You come up behind him, slip off your black knit tie and garrote him Luca Brasi style.

In the rough and tumble world of business, media or politics the black knitted tie is indeed indispensable.

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Comments (6)

  1. Awesome! And to think that Tucker Carlson PAID you to write this! Surely, this is the journo-website of the future.

  2. boilerup

    I used to have one of those…in 1985

  3. mikeli631

    Ron Kessler’s book on the Secret Service, tells the tale of Jimmy Carter’s empty suitcasse, that he affected, as President.

    Will SOMEONE tell Barak Obama, that NOT wearing a tie, and putting his feet up, on the cherished, AND VERY historic, RESOLUTE desk in his office, is A SIGN OF DISREPECT, AND ONLY SHOWS, THAT HE IS THE DISREPSECTFUL SLOB, HE IS ?

    We ALL KNOW, what Obama told us about his changing his name from “Barry” to “Barak”, so we ARE NOT FOOLED BY HIS NARCISST AFFECTATIONS !

  4. tomdoff

    A true Washington political gentleman always has access to four black silk knitted ties, the better to secure their hired amorattas to the bedposts. The more considerate of them possess a fifth, and discard the cat-o-nine-tails.

  5. aurelius

    I’ve got one of these but it’s navy blue. Dang.
    Thanks for the dual-use fashion tips but now I
    don’t know wheather to store it in the suitcase,
    tool box or the First-Aid kit in my Jeep. :)

  6. adamincalifornia

    I am, therefore, not a true gentleman.

    I am crushed.

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