Obama should substitute cigars for cigarettes

James Madison. Andrew Jackson. Ulysses S. Grant. Barack Obama?

The current president should consider having an unlit cigar in his mouth as a healthier substitute for smoking cigarettes, according to a California cigar club CEO.

“Cigars are oral stimulants. President Obama should be humming a fine cigar in the Oval Office. All of the pleasure of the tobacco can be obtained without even lighting it,” said Vin Lee, Beverly Hills Cigar Club CEO in a press release. “Humming is a healthier alternative to smoking for the world’s most powerful man.”

Past presidents have enjoyed cigars, but with the current ban on tobacco products in the White House, Obama should consider a technique known as “humming,” enjoying an unlit cigar.

After giving the president a routine physical examination, White House physician Jeffrey Kuhlman recommended the president give up cigarettes.

“Obviously, enjoying a fine cigar is a great stress reliever for the world’s most powerful leaders,” Lee said. “Of course, tobacco, like liquor, fast food and sweets, should be enjoyed in moderation.”