Obama’s shining city on a hill: The California DMV

Recently my Driver’s License here in the Golden State expired and I failed to take note. It was incumbent upon me to take care of the situation on short notice – without an appointment. If any of you in the audience live in California where I am writing from the following story may not be all that shocking.

Sans appointment one must show up early at the local DMV office here in Oceanside, California. I got there at 7:00 AM and the office doors open at 8:00 AM. There was trouble in paradise, however – the DMV actually opened at 9:00 AM. This elusive detail was left to the wildest of imaginations and not on the government-funded DMV website that I had visited the night before.

I overheard an individual in the crowd mention ‘budget cuts’ as causation.

I had two hours at my leisure and took advantage of dissecting my surroundings. I overheard a man in close proximity telling stories of myriad wives that he had met in Vegas, all of whom turned out to be ‘tramps’ – he even mentioned one that was certifiably psychotic (like he wasn’t). He mentioned driving a truck, he cursed a lot, he seemed to lack any class or public decency and was within earshot of everyone.

Another guy wearing a trench coat circled the crowd – we must have looked like an easy kill. He was hawking ‘hot’ DVDs of movies that were currently showing in local theaters. I didn’t see a sale, much less a prospective client, but I had to commend his consistent persistence, illegal and nefarious as it was. I started thinking. That kind of behavior is actually encouraged here in California. You see, from the top down hard work and playing by the rules doesn’t work. Many would rather stand in line at the government office, get subsistence checks in the mail and avoid actual, legitimate business pursuits at all costs.  Those citizens licensed in legitimate business pursuits are the last of a dying breed and subject to every hysterical petri dish concoction of the Sacramento progressive kingpins.

I digress. As I continued watching and pondering, time came to a slow screeching halt. The bell had tolled nine on the dot.

A very heavy-set lady with a military-esque uniform entered the crowd as the DMV doors opened. She yelled at the top of her lungs, “Drivers’s license renewals, driver’s test, license suspension….” She had a large stack of gub’mint (how she said it) papers and forms in front of her, clasping them, grunting and shouting like the sergeant out of Full Metal Jacket. An elderly Hispanic man approached and attempted a cunning cut in the line, requesting the ‘free’ documents. “Get to the back of the line!”, was all that he was greeted with by the DMV officer.

Hmmph, I might actually like this lady, I thought.

I requested the form to save my life – a simple driver’s license renewal form DL-44 and stood in line outside for another 15 minutes. At this time I filtered out all of the external noise and characters of the scene surrounding me.

I had to focus!