1.) We will all die of old age before anyone cuts spending — After a largely symbolic repeal of Obamacare, what will Republicans do next to cut spending? Absolutely nothing, apparently. “Entitlement reform will only be done on a bipartisan basis. So we’re waiting for signals from the president as to whether or not that’s a discussion he’s willing to have,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, Kentucky Republican, in a Thursday press conference. “The president must embrace it.” The Daily Caller’s Jon Ward writes, “House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Virginia Republican, acted on Tuesday as if Obama was the one who was just elected based on promises to cut government spending” and that “House Speaker John Boehner, Ohio Republican, had no answer Thursday for NBC’s Brian Williams when asked to name ‘a program right now that we could do without.'” Head, desk.
2.) Heritage Foundation calls BS on frantic CBO report — It helps to read the fine print on your lease, your pre-nup, and most importantly your CBO reports: “The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) today released a report stating that repealing the health care law would increase the deficit by $145 billion between 2012 and 2019,” reads Heritage’s Foundry blog. But as the Foundry points out, the CBO cannot calculate what would happen if the bill were not, say, perfectly enacted by God himself on a nation of collectivist angels. Incidentally, CBO Director Doug Elmendorf is aware of this, even if the professional left and the Democratic Party are not: “Current law now includes a number of policies that might be difficult to sustain over a long period of time. … If those provisions would have subsequently been modified or implemented incompletely, then the budgetary effects of repealing [the law] and the relevant provisions of the Reconciliation Act could be quite different—but CBO cannot forecast future changes in law or assume such changes in its estimates.” What is the CBO good for, again?
3.) Turns out Rick Scott genuinely believes in shrinking government — Forgive us our surprise. It’s not every day that a Republican makes good on promising to shrink the size and scope of government. But Florida’s new governor seems to be serious about doing exactly that. “The privilege of using a state-owned aircraft is an unnecessary burden to taxpayers, especially when lower-cost travel options exist,” Scott said earlier this week upon announcing the sale of two state-owned airplanes that cost Floridians $2.4 million a year. Now, Scott says he’s open to the idea of allowing high-stakes casinos in the state, while at the same time admitting he is opposed to relying on them as a source of revenue. Exercising taxation restraint: What a novel idea!
4.) LOL machine Harry Reid admits Obamacare is ‘not perfect’ — Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid must be tired of patting his own back. What else could explain his out-of-the-blue admission that Obamacare is perhaps not the smartest invention since unscented hemorrhoid cream? “Are we saying the health care bill is perfect? Of course not. We’re willing to work in any way that’s constructive in nature to improve the heal thcare delivery system in our country, but repealing health care, [Republicans] should get a new lease on life and talk about something else.” A new lease on life? Wouldn’t that be nice! Unfortunately, all of the old people obsessed with repealing obamacare have been dropped by their doctors.
5.) Rumors fly about John Edwards and the woman who was almost forced to abort his child — Several outlets have piggybacked on a report from the National Enquirer alleging that John Edwards has proposed to baby mama Rielle Hunter just one month after Elizabeth Edwards died of cancer. Are the reports true? Who knows, although the Enquirer’s been right before. As the world waits for verification that Edwards is indeed Satan incarnate, here’s an excerpt from Andrew Young’s tell-all: “According to Young, Hunter called him in May 2007 to say she was pregnant. Young says that when he informed Edwards, the senator told him to ‘handle it,’ to which he replied: ‘I can’t handle this one.’ Young writes that Edwards unloaded on Hunter as a ‘crazy slut,’ said they had an ‘open relationship,’ and put his paternity chances at ‘one in three.’ Young says that Edwards asked him for help persuading Hunter to have an abortion. Young writes that Hunter believed the baby to be ‘some kind of golden child, the reincarnated spirit of a Buddhist monk who was going to help save the world.'”
6.) Survey: People with actual health concerns opposed to Obamacare — A Gallup poll released today found that more Americans than ever favor a repeal of Obamacare. “Forty-six percent of those surveyed Tuesday and Wednesday say they want their representative to vote for repeal; 40% want the law to stand,” reports USA Today. Diving a little deeper into the stats, we see that while 66% of Democrats want the bill to stay in place, 80% of Republicans want to send it back from whence it came. The numbers are even more striking when you break them down by age: “By 50%-30%, young adults under 30 support the law. But their middle-aged parents, those 50-64 years old, favor repeal by an almost equally wide margin.” So, it’s the healthy and broke who favor a law that will most likely hurt–and be paid for by!–the old and the moneyed.