“If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.” ~ old bumper sticker

In the wake of the Tucson shootings, the left dusted off its tired old arguments for gun control. Dick Durbin, a liberal from Illinois (the near-bankrupt state that just raised income taxes), justified calling for limits on free speech by implying that the murders at the Safeway were incited by the right. John Boehner and the Republicans will respond the only way they know how, by insisting that the next session of Congress be opened by its members reading aloud the script of “The Naked Gun.”

You never know where politicians can agree. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) even agreed on a national ID card. Those two have not agreed on anything since the decision to invade Iraq, so you know the ID card must be a good idea.

Maybe the Dems and the GOP can enact some of that much-ballyhooed “bi-partisan” legislation. One bill might say that only endangered species can be permitted to carry firearms for protection against extinction. That is sort of how bipartisan legislation comes out.

Or perhaps felons paroled from prison can be issued a gun as long as they sign a pledge of “no funny business” with the firearm. You know, like the pledges to balance the budget that congressmen sign.

All sorts of celebrities let the lib flag fly after the Tucson shootings. Tom Brokaw even said he would be afraid to go into a bar in Arizona because patrons can carry guns. Although anyone can carry a gun into a bar in many states, it used to be that only one person would actually have one. Among other things, this usually meant he got his drinks comp-ed. I am not sure what Brokaw was getting at, but I guess there was a time when there was only one gun in a bar and folks had to share. With everyone packing heat, the sense of community and camaraderie once prevalent in bars has been lost.

Furthermore, what is wrong with guns in bars? What sober person would want to shoot a gun?

Brokaw must now feel compelled to amend his book, The Greatest Generation, to say its members beat back Nazi Germany in World War II with their cool and reasoned demeanor of non-violence.

All of the calls for yet more laws to control guns are just grandstanding. Never mind that Arizona had plenty of gun laws on the books that should have, in these folks’ minds, prevented Loughner’s senseless act. And have you ever noticed that shootings like Fort Hood, Virginia Tech, etc. seem to happen in so-called “gun-free” zones?

Here are some actual gun facts from the “Just the Facts” website:

— 10,866 murders were committed with guns in 2008, but The Journal of Quantitative Criminology (I think it was the May swimsuit issue) found that U.S. civilians used guns to defend themselves and others from crimes at least 989,883 times per year.

— Since Florida’s right-to-carry (a gun) law went into effect in 1987, the state’s average murder rate has dropped by 36%.

— In a survey of male felons in eleven prisons, 69% were themselves, or knew of a person who was, “scared off, shot at, wounded, or captured by an armed victim.”

— In 1982, Obama’s Democratic utopia, Chicago, instituted a handgun ban. “Since the outset of the Chicago handgun ban, the percentage of Chicago murders committed with handguns has averaged about 40% higher than it was before the law took effect.” Now Chicago is one of the murder capitals of the country, an inconvenient little truth omitted from Chicago’s Chamber of Commerce brochures.

Washington, D.C. experienced a similar situation after banning handguns there.  If we know anything about criminals, it is that a murderous thug won’t risk non-compliance with a city ordinance by not properly registering his AK-47. Predictably, the D.C. murder rate jumped 73% after the ban went into effect.

Let’s be clear: firearms are only dangerous if used for their intended purpose. Yet liberals with no real life experience, like Obama, John Kerry and Al Franken, suggest inane gun laws to make themselves feel good. Like gun manufacturers and cigarette makers, who make legal products, certain Ivy League schools need to be held liable for the damage their products cause to society.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or at visit RonaldHart.com