Opinion

The widening gap between the left and the right

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Burt Prelutsky
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      Burt Prelutsky

      Burt Prelutsky is a humor columnist, a movie critic and a writer for TV. He’s written episodes of MASH, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Bob Newhart Show, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. He is the author of "Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco" and "Liberals: America's Termites or It's a Shame That Liberals, Unlike Hamsters, Never Eat Their Young," along with two collections of interviews, “The Secret of Their Success" and "Portraits of Success (Conversations with 60 Over-Achievers).” He blogs at BurtPrelutsky.com.

A schism of Grand Canyon proportions has opened up between those who possess rational thought and those on the left.

Liberals believe, despite a century’s worth of contradictory evidence, that socialism is a humane and viable economic system. They believe that America is a racist country despite the fact that we have a black president and a black attorney general, and that two of our last three secretaries of state have been black.

If you’re dumb enough to be a member of NOW, you are also likely to subscribe to the notion that we live in a patriarchal, misogynistic society, where the deck is stacked against women, even though two of those three secretaries of state have been females, as was the last speaker of the House.

Speaking of Nancy Pelosi, did the same person who told us that Obamacare would have to be passed if we wanted to know what was in it actually have the gall to say that election results, referring to those in 2010, shouldn’t matter so much? I think she should check with her boss before making any future statements because all that this last one did was remind many of us that, shortly after the 2008 election, Obama rudely reminded John McCain that the election was over and, furthermore, that Republicans should sit down, shut up and get out of his way.

But knowing Pelosi as we have come to, nobody should assume she was actually calling for bi-partisanship. Rather, it was merely a roundabout way of asking that they give her back the jumbo jet she had received as a perk of her speakership.

I suppose, if I were a much kinder person, I would sympathize with Ms. Pelosi. After all, one day she had broken through the glass ceiling and was second in line to the presidency, and the next day she was just another grumpy old lady grousing about the good old days. But that’s the way it is here in America. Take her California colleague, Henry Waxman. On Tuesday, he’s the most powerful midget in the nation. On Wednesday, he’s just another garden gnome.

But don’t get me wrong. All the lunatics aren’t in the nation’s capital, although it often seems that way. Out here on the left coast, the California Senate passed a bill that mandates that social studies curriculum in the public schools includes gay history. For good measure, the Federation of Teachers Convention voted to reaffirm their support of convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal.  Keep in mind, these are the people who are teaching your kids, and not only don’t they have to register as child molesters, but you’re paying their salaries.

Even in Washington, fair-minded people have to acknowledge that not all the dipsticks are Democrats — at least as long as John McCain is still in the Senate. As if his former partnerships with Russ Feingold and Ted Kennedy weren’t bad enough, the village idiot has now gone into business with John Kerry. Together, they make a very strange horse, one with a single head but two behinds. Their “Commercial Privacy Bill of Rights” (the gaudier the title, the dumber the legislation) would prevent individuals from suing companies that covertly gather personal information and sell it to interested parties. Under their proposed bill, only the FTC or a state attorney general could sue.

Instead of constantly having to reach across the aisle, it would have made far more sense if the ninny from Arizona had been seated all along with his natural allies. For one thing, it would have prevented him from becoming the Republican presidential candidate in 2008.