DC Trawler

The country that brought us the Holocaust wets its little panties over Bin Laden

It took over 65 years, but as of today, the United States’ total demoralization of Germany is finally complete. Germany, remember them? Made a lot of noise in the ’30s and ’40s. Self-styled rulers of the world, Third Reich, Master Race, that sort of thing. Fairly arrogant, if you ask me.

Then we crushed them. We beat them down and built them back up as a pale shadow of what they once were. We humiliated them, emasculated them, showed them who’s boss, broke their spirit to the point where they’re now reduced to… this. Der Spiegel:

A Hamburg judge has filed a criminal complaint against Chancellor Angela Merkel for “endorsing a crime” after she stated she was “glad” that Osama bin Laden was killed by US forces. Meanwhile a new poll reveals that a majority of Germans do not see the terrorist’s death as a reason to celebrate…

Politicians, including those within her own center-right coalition, said that no death was cause for celebration, and reproved the remark as un-Christian and vengeful.

But Hamburg judge Heinz Uthmann went even further. He alleges that the chancellor’s statement was nothing short of illegal, and filed a criminal complaint against Merkel midweek, the daily Hamburger Morgenpost reported Friday.

“I am a law-abiding citizen and as a judge, sworn to justice and law,” the 54-year-old told the paper, adding that Merkel’s words were “tacky and undignified.”

Then he took to his fainting couch and wept into a lace hanky from the shame of it all. Deutschland über ball-less.

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  • catoi

    “adding that Merkel’s words were ‘tacky and undignified.'”

    If being tacky and indignified is a crime in Germany, why isn’t David Hasselhoff in jail?

  • Bobo from Texas

    Actually you are quite late in this call. The transformation was complete when the Sitzpinkler movement took off. Google Sitzpinkler for details.

    I suspect that our First Lady enthusiastically insists on Sitzpinkler for her fella.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeffrey-Sykes/706019364 Jeffrey Sykes

    Man this might be one of the most mindless chest-thumping articles I have ever read. So we beat the Germans all by ourselves did we? That starting point undermines the entire thesis of your article.

    The Russians had a lot more to do with putting the Germans in their place in 1945 than we did. Against us, the Germans basically ran a controlled retreat from June 1944 until the Battle of the Bulge. In the east, the Russians withstood the largest onslaught in military history at that time in 1942 and turned the tide in early 1943, a full year before we even looked toward Normandy.

    The Russians lost more than 10 million troops in direct action against the Wehrmact. Allied losses post D-Day amounted to 770,000.

    • wte9

      Jeffrey, this commenting thing… you’re doing it wrong.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeff-McCabe/1404672049 Jeff McCabe

      Yes Jeff. THAT was the point of the article. That the US beat Nazi Germany all by itself. Very perceptive of you.

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  • tom swift

    In retrospect, the testosteronectomy may not have been such a hot idea.

    On the other hand, I detect more than a whiff of nostalgia for National Socialist thought control in the judge. Keep up the good work, Heinz!

    And you may be reading too much into the poll. I don’t think OBL’s extinction is a reason to celebrate, either. It’s a job well done, but all in a day’s work. Don’t waste time celebrating and dancing around, move on to the next one. There’s lots more to go, so get on with it.

  • caseym54

    Everyone should send some money to Scientology Deutschland.

  • theoriginalk

    Let’s at least get the history right, Jim. Germany was crushed like a walnut because it managed to get between the Soviet Union and the United States. The Russkies used more manpower, more equipment, and died a hell of a lot more than American servicemen did. They deserve at least half the credit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeffrey-Sykes/706019364 Jeffrey Sykes

      Good point and very important to putting the lie to the MIC’s chest thumping. Soviet losses to the German’s topped 10 million troops killed. Allied infantry losses were 770,000 post D-Day.