Opinion

Obama should return to his 2007 borders

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Eric Golub
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      Eric Golub

      Eric Golub is a Brooklyn-born stockbrokerage and oil professional living in the People's Republic of Los Angeles. His blog is the TYGRRRR EXPRESS and his three books are "Ideological Bigotry," "Ideological Violence," and "Ideological Idiocy." His interests include politics, football, the stock market, and Republican Jewish brunettes.

It is time for Israel to compromise and engage in a land swap that everybody can live with. As a staunch Israel supporter and neoconservative, I think this proposal will resolve some major lingering issues.

Barack Obama has demanded that Israel return to its 1967 borders. Mr. Obama needs to lead by example.

It is time for Barack Obama to return to his 2007 borders.

He was doing just fine as a community-organizer-turned-inconsequential-senator from Illinois. He has too much land now, and he is unable to manage it all. It is coming at him from all sides. He needs to give up some territory to others to focus on his core land. He should hand the White House to the Republican Party promptly. They deserve right of return.

In return for his returning to his 2007 borders, Republicans will promise to recognize his right to exist. By right to exist, we mean he will be able to sit quietly and not make any more speeches. His teleprompters should be blown up with all the passion of the Palestinian homicide bombers that he only tacitly condemns.

Americans are tired of watching warring parties fight over disputed land. For the sake of peace in the American political process, Mr. Obama can make the painful concessions necessary. If he is willing to give up land for peace, it will show how magnanimous he is. Yes, he will be considered a sucker by some, but at least the Nobel Peace Prize he was given would actually be worth more than a romantic evening with Helen Thomas.

Mr. Obama is a humanitarian who is committed to human rights, not counting the hundreds of people being shot in the Middle East on a daily basis as he turns a blind eye. To reward his hard “work,” Jimmy Carter can help build him a new house in Illinois. To keep faithful to their socialist ideals, the house will be the exact average shape and size of every house in Illinois. To ensure that the house is not better than average, union labor will be employed to build it. The builders will be hired based on diversity quotas and many other metrics. Experience building homes will not be a criterion.

Mr. Obama returning to Illinois could be inevitable. Unless he succeeded in finally eliminating that awful Constitution and its charter of negative liberties, Mr. Obama was going to have to leave his job in 2017 at the latest. This gives him a head start.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu should embrace this plan. It leaves Mr. Obama with a small plot of land only nine miles wide, or approximately the size of Mr. Obama’s ego.

In Israel they call it partition. In Congress they call it redistricting and gerrymandering. For Mr. Obama, it can be called social justice.

Those who love to yell, “No justice, no peace,” can finally see justice done and peace accomplished.

Mr. Obama, return to your 2007 borders. It would be the best political decision you have ever made, and you would unite the entire democratic adult world in support of your action.

Eric Golub is a Brooklyn-born stockbrokerage and oil professional living in the People’s Republic of Los Angeles. His blog is the TYGRRRR EXPRESS and his three books are “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” His interests include politics, football, the stock market, and Republican Jewish brunettes.