DC Trawler

You can marry a person of the same gender in New York City, but you can’t eat your own wedding cake without Bloomberg slapping it out of your hands

"Why won't you let me be HAPPY???"

Congratulations, I guess?

New York lawmakers narrowly voted to legalize same-sex marriage Friday, handing activists a breakthrough victory in the state where the gay rights movement was born.

New York will become the sixth state where gay couples can wed and the biggest by far.

“We are leaders and we join other proud states that recognize our families and the battle will now go on in other states,” said Sen. Thomas Duane, a Democrat.

It’s official: Now both straight and gay couples in NYC will have the equal right to wonder what Anderson Cooper is waiting for.

Hey, once gender becomes a meaningless construct, will I finally get to join a sorority? Hang out in the ladies’ room? Wait tables at Hooters? After all, I’m a person, not a gender. Ha ha, just kidding, made you think about the implications of your own rhetoric for a second.

Well, there’s still time to block gay weddings, social conservatives: Just tell Bloomberg that they’re fun.

If that doesn’t work, try to enjoy the show. The weddings at St. Gaga’s Cathedral will be better than Barnum & Bailey, and the receptions at Greg Gutfeld’s Ground Zero gay bar will be AWESOME. And just think of the divorces! OMG, the divorces. This is like free movie tickets for life, you guys.

P.S. As Gay Patriot notes: “It passed with Republican votes — and in a legislative chamber run by the GOP.” Look out, lefties, it’s a trap! An evil Republican trap!