With the mainstream media giddily reporting on an alleged affair involving Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, how long can it be before they break the news that their 2004 vice presidential candidate conceived a “love child” with his mistress, Rielle Hunter?

The left is trying to destroy Cain with a miasma of hazy accusations leveled by three troubled women. Considered individually, the accusations are utterly unbelievable. They are even less credible taken together. This is how liberals destroy a man, out of nothing.

After the first round of baseless accusations against Cain, an endless stream of pundits rolled out the cliche — as if it were the height of originality — “This isn’t he-said, she-said; it’s he-said, she-said, she-said, she-said, she-said.”

Au contraire: We had two “shes” and only one “said.”

Remember? Only two women were willing to give their names. And as soon as they did, we discovered that they were highly suspicious accusers with nothing more than their personal honor to support the allegations. Only one of the two would even say what Cain allegedly did.

The first one was Sharon Bialek, who claimed that Cain grabbed her crotch in a car.

Then we found out Bialek was in constant financial trouble, had been involved in a paternity lawsuit, was known as a “gold digger,” had a string of debts and had twice filed for personal bankruptcy. Also, she admitted she knew Obama’s dirty tricks specialist, David Axelrod, from living in the same building with him.

Her personal history is relevant because she produced no evidence. We had to take her word. (Which was not helped by seeing her standing with Gloria Allred.)

The second one, Karen Kraushaar, made unspecified allegations of a “hostile environment” when she was working for Cain, but refuses to say what those allegations were. This despite the fact that the National Restaurant Association waived her confidentiality agreement, thus allowing her to go public.

That’s one “she,” but no “said.”

Cain said he had once told Kraushaar she was as tall as his wife — which would be one of the more worthy sexual harassment claims settled by an American company in recent years.

Why won’t she say? We’re not talking about rape. Kraushaar can’t say, “I don’t want to relive being told I was the same height as his wife!” With all the nonsense that passes for a “hostile environment,” either Kraushaar tells us what Cain allegedly did, or her blind accusation is worth less than nothing.

As if that weren’t enough, then it turned out that Kraushaar had also filed a complaint at her next job just three years later, charging that a manager had circulated a sexually explicit joke email comparing computers to men and women. She demanded a raise and the right to work at home.

Maybe Kraushaar is the most unlucky woman in the world. But the simpler explanation is that she is not a credible witness on the workplace atmosphere.

And now we have Ginger White stepping forward to claim that she had a 13-year affair with Cain. Cain admits he was friends with White, but he categorically, adamantly denies having an affair with her.

White has the whole combo-platter of questionable accuser attributes: She’s another financially troubled, twice-divorced, unemployed single mother, who has claimed sexual harassment in the past, declared bankruptcy once, was accused of stalking and had a libel judgment entered against her just this year. So far in 2011, she’s had nine liens put on her property.

But we’re supposed to ignore all of that because she’s the third woman of questionable character to make an implausible allegation. Liberals say there’s a pattern, but the only pattern is of their making far-fetched accusations of a sexual nature against Cain.

White’s proof that she had a 13-year affair is that she has two of Cain’s books signed by him — one with the incriminating inscription, “Friends are forever! Everything else is a bonus,” and the other, “Miss G, you have already made a ‘big difference!’ Stay focused as you pursue your next destination.” (I know — filthy!)

If that’s proof of an affair, I’ve had thousands of them without even realizing it.

Also, White produced evidence that Cain had texted or called her cell phone 61 times during four non-consecutive months — but did not reveal what those texts said. (“Would you please return my lawn mower?”)

Again, if that’s proof of an affair, I’m having hundreds of them at this very moment.

This is the sort of evidence you get with an actual sexual predator: Bill Clinton’s accusers had gifts, taped phone conversations with him and a semen-stained dress.

Gennifer Flowers produced taped telephone calls with Clinton totaling thousands of words between them, with him counseling her on how to deny their affair: “If they ever hit you with it, just say no, and go on. There’s nothing they can do … But when they — if somebody contacts you, I need to know … All you got to do is deny it.”

Paula Jones had multiple same-day witnesses — including the state troopers who worked for Clinton and had already told the press about a “Paula” they brought to Clinton’s hotel room. And that was for a single incident.

Monica Lewinsky had lots of gifts from Clinton, including a hat pin, two brooches, a marble bear figurine, a T-shirt from Martha’s Vineyard and Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass,” all of which she mysteriously placed with Clinton’s secretary, Betty Currie, during the investigation, as well as a semen-stained dress, which Monica kept.

Ginger White claims she had a 13-year affair with Cain — and all she has are two books with inscriptions that could have been written to an auto mechanic who waited in line at a Cain book signing. Even her business partner during the alleged affair says White never mentioned Cain’s name.

These women are like triple-A ball players with the stats being: number of bankruptcies, smallest bank account, number of liens, most false claims, number of children out of wedlock, degrees of separation from David Axelrod, total trips to human resources and so on.

That wouldn’t be dispositive — except for the fact that their only evidence is their word.

But this is how liberals dirty you up when they’ve got nothing: They launch a series of false accusations, knowing that Americans with busy lives won’t follow each story to the end and notice that they were all blind alleys.

The liberal media is an old story, but it’s still a big story when it comes to creating the impression of scandal out of thin air.

Most people say, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” I say, “Where there’s smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.”

Ann Coulter is a political commentator and writer.