That’s what he says, anyway. He took to HuffPo last night to apologize (kinda) and explain himself (sorta):

First off, I would like to apologize to the other passengers onboard the American Airlines flight that I was thrown off of yesterday. It was never my intention to inconvenience anyone with my “issue” with a certain flight attendant…

My confusion began when the flight, already a half hour behind schedule, boarded, the door closed, and we proceeded to sit at the gate for another fifteen minutes. I then did what I have nearly always done and that was to pull out my phone to complete any other messaging I had to do before take off…

In this case, while other people were still manipulating their own phones, this one employee singled me out to put my phone away. Afterward, we still sat at the gate. I pulled out my phone again, while others did the same. Again, I was singled out by this woman in the most unpleasant of tones. I guess the fact that this woman, who had decided to make some example of me, while everyone else was left undisturbed, did get the better of me.

However, I have learned a valuable lesson. Airlines in the US are struggling with fuel costs, labor costs, bankruptcies, you name it. It’s no secret that the level of service on US carriers has deteriorated to a point that would make Howard Hughes red-faced. Filthy planes, barely edible meals, cuts in jet service to less-traveled locations. One of the big changes, in my time, is in the increase of the post-9/11, paramilitary bearing of much of the air travel business. September 11th was a horrific day in the airline industry, yet in the wake of that event, I believe carriers and airports have used that as an excuse to make the air travel experience as inelegant as possible…

The lesson I’ve learned is to keep my phone off when the 1950’s gym teacher is on duty.

Because, you see, 9/11 happened, so now he’s expected to do the bidding of some woman even though he’s Alec Baldwin, so he yells and screams and throws things and stomps around, gets kicked off and delays the flight for everybody else, and then lies about it and blames the airline employee who is doing her job as required by federal law.

What we have here is yet another clear case of the 1% pushing around the 99% just because they can. With Baldwin as the 99%, of course.

We don’t have any audio or video of Baldwin’s tirade, unfortunately, but it might’ve gone something like this. Here’s Baldwin talking to Conan O’Brien almost exactly 13 years ago:

(Sorry about the picture quality. This was pre-Tivo, pre-YouTube.) Conan managed to salvage the debacle with that handy oxygen tank prop, but he was clearly mortified. And the network didn’t seem to find the humor in it, because it never aired on any repeats. Nope, Baldwin was speaking straight from his shriveled little heart.

I can’t wait until he’s the mayor of New York!