The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

If you went to grade school with Mitt Romney and he dipped your pigtails in an inkwell, contact David Axelrod immediately

I’m surprised the Dems are dropping this bombshell so early in the campaign. This should’ve been an October surprise. WaPo:

BLOOMFIELD HILLS, Mich. — Mitt Romney returned from a three-week spring break in 1965 to resume his studies as a high school senior at the prestigious Cranbrook School. Back on the handsome campus, studded with Tudor brick buildings and manicured fields, he spotted something he thought did not belong at a school where the boys wore ties and carried briefcases. John Lauber, a soft-spoken new student one year behind Romney, was perpetually teased for his nonconformity and presumed homosexuality. Now he was walking around the all-boys school with bleached-blond hair that draped over one eye, and Romney wasn’t having it.

“He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!” an incensed Romney told Matthew Friedemann, his close friend in the Stevens Hall dorm, according to Friedemann’s recollection. Mitt, the teenaged son of Michigan Gov. George Romney, kept complaining about Lauber’s look, Friedemann recalled.

A few days later, Friedemann entered Stevens Hall off the school’s collegiate quad to find Romney marching out of his own room ahead of a prep school posse shouting about their plan to cut Lauber’s hair. Friedemann followed them to a nearby room where they came upon Lauber, tackled him and pinned him to the ground. As Lauber, his eyes filling with tears, screamed for help, Romney repeatedly clipped his hair with a pair of scissors.

Also, another time he put his dog on top of a car. He should’ve eaten it instead, like Obama. And he should’ve behaved more like Obama did in high school. Which was probably good, because he’s Obama, so why bother trying to find out? That’s not the Washington Post‘s concern, because it doesn’t help them keep Republicans out of the White House. And they won’t be diverted from that mission, no matter how many readers they lose.

By the way, Romney apologized this morning. For the hair-cutting thing, not the dog thing. He has yet to apologize for never eating a dog.

What kind of president doesn’t eat dogs?

Let’s get to work, America. The Obama campaign needs your help. Did Mitt Romney ever point to what he claimed was a stain on your shirt, and when you looked down, he flicked your nose? Did Mitt Romney ever break wind in gym class and blame it on you? Did Mitt Romney ever refuse to be “It” even though you very clearly tagged him? We must stop this monster.

And to all you wingnuts: If you want to know more about Obama’s high school years, that’s racist because you’re a racist. Also, shut up, racist.

Update: Young Obama bullied… a girl. As told by… Obama. In Dreams from My Father. Once again, an Obama campaign bombshell is imploded by a passage from one of his own books. This is getting embarrassing. Come on, Axelrod, nobody on your team has read those things?

Update: And already, the cracks in WaPo’s story are beginning to show. This is more about them than it is about Romney.