Two things in life are certain: 1) If God doesn’t smite Washington, D.C. soon, then he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology, and 2) When God does smite D.C., we’re not going anywhere.
That’s not to say that the folks at The Daily Caller are sinners! It’s just we’ll need a little push. We’re not saints, after all. But hell, you already knew that.
But really, it doesn’t matter if you go up with the good guys, hang out for three-and-a-half years or are in it for the long haul. Either you’re going to need beer (we will), or it isn’t going to matter if you spent all your money on beer because we aren’t Egyptians here — you don’t need to BYO to the Great Open Bar in the Sky.
That brings us to the coolest idea out of Boston since throwing balls of ice at heavily armed Red Coats — the Samuel Adams’ IPA Hop-ology Variety 12-Pack.
Oh yeah. Six IPAs to put in your pipe and smoke. Or main line. As we’re fond of saying, what you do is your business so long as you don’t bring the feds down on us. Then it becomes our business.
So get this, hop heads: For a limited time, the gang at Boston Beer Company is sharing six of its IPAs with us in one convenient location. If you’re wondering how you missed six IPAs from Sam, you’re with us. And if you’re a beer nerd pretending to have conquered all six of these bad boys, you’re lying. Because one is brand-spanking new, idiot.
But who cares because they’re all here now, and so are we. And since there’s six of them (well, five we haven’t reviewed — here’s the Dark Depths Baltic IPA we already reviewed), we’re breaking this bad boy down into two parts. So, ladies and gentlemen, prepare you palates — it’s time to crush some India pale ales.
Samuel Adams’ Grumpy Monk Belgian IPA
So if you really love your beer, you’ve probably dabbled in Belgian ales (if you haven’t, check that juice out). Brewed in ancient Trappist monasteries using centuries-old recipes, drawing water from original wells for a process still run by the monks, selling at Whole Foods for seemingly outrageous prices (unless, really, you stop and think about how worthwhile they are), the Belgian Trappist ales are pillars of the tradition-loving beer enthusiast’s universe. So you can imagine the old Papists getting a little angry if anyone messes with their thang. Which is actually what our friends in Boston did. Hence, Grumpy Monk Belgian IPA, combining “the distinctive character of Belgian yeast with its spicy clove and fruit notes … with the brazen hop character of an IPA.”
Brewed specially for the Hop-ology variety pack, the Grumpy Monk begins with a medium head that takes on the color from the dark golden, orange body and has a medium fade.
And damn, the nose is strong. Sugary sweet, with citrus notes like a tangerine. On a deep breath, you catch a hint of spice, too.
But the palate is where this IPA really impresses. The hops are astounding, with a sharp, piney sour on the tip that bites, lemon on the outside of the tongue and pepper on the back. That follows with a sweetness in the middle and roof of the mouth, and is finally finished with a slightly peppery taste on the back, lingering on for some time in a dry, earthy, hoppy aftertaste.
Even at only (only?) 5.7 percent alcohol by volume, Grumpy Monk is beer for sipping — not for crushing. You could crush this beer, but it would be a lot of work.
At only 55 IBUs, this ale still packs a whollop. It’s worth picking up the mix pack just to try this delicious hybrid. And considering the slash and burn techniques of these hops, we’d just finish a bottle. And hell, if you’re feeling like us, chase (pair) it with a fat lip of Skoal’s Citrus Blend Long Cut chewing tobacco.
At $15.99 a 12 pack, this is something worth picking up to share with the gang.